The Crime Scores Big Scoop With Hooton's New Hoots

A Cry for Administrative Contraception

(Upon reading of the appointment of three new assistant deans of Harvard College.)

Behind the Academic scenes

She's always breeding baby deans.

If I were Herod, I would slaughter

Those innocents of Alma Mater.


But since she has the love and respect of me,

I'll settle for a Hysterectomy.