News
Summers Will Not Finish Semester of Teaching as Harvard Investigates Epstein Ties
News
Harvard College Students Report Favoring Divestment from Israel in HUA Survey
News
‘He Should Resign’: Harvard Undergrads Take Hard Line Against Summers Over Epstein Scandal
News
Harvard To Launch New Investigation Into Epstein’s Ties to Summers, Other University Affiliates
News
Harvard Students To Vote on Divestment From Israel in Inaugural HUA Election Survey
It looks like there's going to be a hoop race tomorrow. At Wellesley, of course.
The thing is annual. And it happens the same way every year. So it is possible to present an eye-witness account of the bizarre events that will start to occur at precisely 7:15 a.m., unless, as was the case two years ago, the derby is postponed because of "inclement weather."
The entries, all seniors, will huddle, shivering, along the starting line at the foot of Tower Court hill. They will be attired in caps and gowns, the latter rolled up to permit sprinting. Each girl will have a hoop.
At the starting signal, the highly-strung athletes will simultaneously begin to run, to roll their hoops, and to squeal. The race ends at the Chapel, where the winner will receive a wreath.
She will also, according to legend, be the first member of her class to receive a husband. If already married, she will be the first to receive a baby.
Keeping a rolling hoop on course, incidentally, requires considerable technical competence, and long weeks of practic usually go into the making of an early-husband winner.
Several ceded entries, contacted last night, all said that they were fit as fiddles and in control of their hoops, so a tight race is expected.
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.