LOGICAL EXTENSION

To the Editors of the CRIMSON:

The date 1984 will have a macabre significance to those young men who might be residing in Cambridge at that time. For 1984 is the year in which Harvard University fulfilled a 40-year trend toward complete economy.

It all began in 1944 when it was decided that waitresses were far too pretty and hence far too dangerous to be allowed to coexist with students, even in dining halls. The punishment: perpetual bootcamp-type cafeteria service.

Ten years later, in 1954, the abolition of maids occurred on the pretence that costly back-breaking was a luxury of too much bed-making, which was considered a luxury.

1964 saw the firing of janitors, grounds-keepers and house maters because the University was too over-crowded and these men only added to the congestion.

In 1974, an edict was issued cutting off from the payroll all University personnel other than Yard cops, ghost-lecturers and those persons with offices in Conant or Pusey Halls. This was justified on the stand that unless a drastic cut took place somewhere in the budget, the $800,000,000 endowment fund might not continue to rise. Many felt it was a good thing that, as a consequence of the move, at last the grading system could be done away with.

Finally, in 1984, after careful deliberation, the Corporation decided that their prohibitive costs and their unique, unpredictable natures were sufficient grounds for abolishing all students from Harvard University. In announcing the move, the Harvard News Office communique went on to point out: "It has been well-known by the University for some time now that mechanical brains are much faster and more capable than human brains." Griffith M. Buttrick '54