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A Weighty Matter


It's just a rumor, of course, but we've heard that the University buys its meat out in Chicago some two hours (or less) before it is to be condemned. It is also said that the grade of meat purchased is "Utility," which under the Government's classification system ranks below Prime, Choice, and Commercial. Utility is considered better than Canners'-and-Cutters', which may or may not be reassuring.

Perhaps no one is surprised at this lurid information. Perhaps the reader is at the moment sitting back and contemplating his green roast beef with an air of hardened indifference. Perhaps, however, he is outraged. In which case, we will endeavor to soothe him.

For one thing, the reader must know that the meats are graded according to popular consumption value (i.e. taste) and not according to nutrition. Commercial meat is actually more nutritious than prime or choice. So we mustn't be disturbed about not being good enough for Commercial; it's actually the best, that is, except for the taste.

The University obviously cannot afford to bother with considerations of taste, so Prime and Choice are out. If the University cannot afford prime or choice, we might as well have Utility. After all, if we have to choose between Commercial and Utility, it seems six of one and half dozen of another. They both sound beastly.

Utility is apparently not so bad, anyway. They say it's used in prisons. And everyone knows that prisoners have been treated humanely ever since the nineteenth century.

For another thing, the CRIMSON has tested Utility and found it is perfectly good. You know we found a dog the other day, or rather he found us. Anyway, we tried some utility meat on him. He ate it.

After all, the University and its cuisiniers must be congratulated. The cooks have constantly been the objects of much malignant comment from the Student Council and other people who think about things like food, but now the cooks emerge as truly heroic figures. Think how well they've done, with only Utility to work with!

The buyers must also be praised, however, for their enterprise and thrift. Not everyone would go out to Chicago at the last minute that way just for the sake of a bunch of out-at-heels students. There is no way of telling how much more corned beef and cabbage can be served because of the buyers' waiting until the meat could be condemned. We only wish that more money could be saved. Perhaps the buyers might be able to wangle a little of that Cutters-and-Canners', for Sundays and holidays.

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