Harvard Law School Makes Online Zero-L Course Free for All U.S. Law Schools Due to Coronavirus


For Kennedy School Fellows, Epstein-Linked Donors Present a Moral Dilemma


Tenants Grapple with High Rents and Local Turnover at Asana-Owned Properties


In April, Theft Surged as Cambridge Residents Stayed at Home


The History of Harvard's Commencement, Explained

Students Stagger to Cokeless Cahaly's


The weary scholar in search of truth can no longer "Swing--to the Real Thing." Harvard, and all of Cambridge, have been left open-mouthed and empty-handed by a dire lack of Coca-Cola. This unprecedented occurrence is due to a two-week-old Teamster strike against Coke.

"But, they're all good boys so they swing to me," says Ralph Cahaly (left) proprietor of Cahaly's at 47 Mt. Auburn St. He gleefully related tales of glassy-eyed undergraduates staggering into his store, their hands bloody from beating on empty House Coke machines.

"People don't die if they don't drink Coke," Ralph's brother, Mike, (right), added profoundly.

Meanwhile, down in the far recesses of the store basement, empty Coke bottles continue to pile up. The count now stands at 150 cases. As soon as they save enough, the brothers plan to send them in with their 6,969 boxtops and get a toy submarine.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.