Tea Leaves and Taurus

The CRIMSON has mailed its soothsayer on Mount Olympus his annual retainer, and he, in turn, has filed the following predictions for 1963:


President Kennedy announces in his State of the Union message that he is very pleased with himself. Describing McGeorge Bundy as the "Nation's number one asset," he expresses dismay that anyone could think Bundy ambitious. George Romney receives Kennedy's speech coolly: he reveals that an Archangel appeared to him in a vision and urged that he "keep an eye on national politics."

Harvard acquires the MTA yards and announces plans to build a coed House. Mary Bunting, an experimental biologist, applauds the "long-awaited merger." Architect Sert envisages a 42-story alabaster tower. The New York newspaper strike negotiations are broken off until March.



Winston Churchill celebrates his 89th birthday; greetings pour in from all over the civilized world and Ireland. The principality of Gambezi breaks off from the Gabon Republic and is proclaimed the world's newest and smallest state. The influx of diplomats trebels its population.

The Mona Lisa, on loan from France, is viewed by throngs of Washington tourists, most of whom appear to believe that it portrays Mrs. John Kennedy.


The newspaper strike negotiations become further complicated when New York Street Cleaners Local #60 decides to picket any settlement. The Janitors Local, the Toilet Tissue Workers International and the Christian Science Monitor declare solidarity with #60. Three Harvard government courses cancel lectures because of the lack of the New York Times.


An article in the Saturday Evening Post alleges that "President Pusey doesn't believe in God; he is a fraud; the new coeducational House is immoral." Vicious rumors are spread that the article was planted by McGeorge Bundy, who is said to want Pusey's job. Pusey responds with a poem in the Letter Column of the West Coast edition of the New York Times:

How odd

To hear

The name of God

In a smear.