News
Cambridge Residents Slam Council Proposal to Delay Bike Lane Construction
News
‘Gender-Affirming Slay Fest’: Harvard College QSA Hosts Annual Queer Prom
News
‘Not Being Nerds’: Harvard Students Dance to Tinashe at Yardfest
News
Wrongful Death Trial Against CAMHS Employee Over 2015 Student Suicide To Begin Tuesday
News
Cornel West, Harvard Affiliates Call for University to Divest from ‘Israeli Apartheid’ at Rally
Weighed down with the rust of neglect, Threskiornis aethiopica--"Ibis" to you--soared yesterday into the jetstream. Witnesses to the event, which occurred soon after dawn atop the Lampoon edifice, felt the legendary bird would probably head toward ski country, where it was hoped a weekend of relaxation might serve to arrest seemingly irreversible heart damage brought on by years of Lampoon care.
Others saw a political motive in the Ibis's sudden departure, recalling that he had advised scores of Presidents and been a major foreign policy influence at Portsmouth in 1905 and Yalta in 1945. A senior spokesman with bipartisan cre- details, the Ibis has been frequently considered for major political office.
By mid-afternoon yesterday, Cambridge was buzzing with excitement. To the man on the street, the message was clear: the Ibis's re-entrance into active public life signaled the arrival of a national emergency demanding expert guidance.
Sources closer to the Ibis read into yesterday's move a stern warning against hypocrisy in American life. It is said the Ibis disapproved strongly of the Lampoon's New York Times parody, frowing most particularly on a claim that the word "seized" had been mispelled by intention. Irresponsibility is one thing, the Ibis is said to feel, while patent untruths are quite another
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.