News
Summers Will Not Finish Semester of Teaching as Harvard Investigates Epstein Ties
News
Harvard College Students Report Favoring Divestment from Israel in HUA Survey
News
‘He Should Resign’: Harvard Undergrads Take Hard Line Against Summers Over Epstein Scandal
News
Harvard To Launch New Investigation Into Epstein’s Ties to Summers, Other University Affiliates
News
Harvard Students To Vote on Divestment From Israel in Inaugural HUA Election Survey
A women's emancipation protest and cries of "Fraud!" animated the Cabot Hall dance and bake sale last night.
Members of the Women's International Terrorist Conspiracy from Hell (WITCH) and Radcliffe's Committee of Women (COW), two women's liberation groups, auctioned off section of an ideal "Grade A, guaranteed fertile chick." They handed out chicken legs and frankfurters to the highest bidders.
"This here chick is so valuable, we're not selling all of her to any one person," cackled a WITCH auctioneer, replete with broom, as protestors carried signs reading "Don't take any bull!" and "We shall not be mooed!"
The other raffle, of entire girls, "was not organized to titillate," Diorita C. Fletcher '71, president of East House, said. The seven winners of the raffle, who paid 25 cents per ticket, were greeted with a smile and a cup cake. "It's fraud!" cried one dejected winner. "I didn't even get a kiss," he said. The cupcakes were selling earlier for ten cents.
"This is not a raffle of Cliffie bodies," Miss Fletcher said to the 160 raffle ticket purchasers. "But that is not to say that that won't happen in the future," she said.
At the end of the bake sale, the four-year-old son of Cabot's head resident came in wearing pajamas. "Oh no!" was his only comment.
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.