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Crimson Defeats Yale Tabloid; Gains 300th Straight Win, 23-2

By Bo BO Bobozo

Not half an hour ago, the Harvard Crimson touch football machine rolled to its 300th straight victory, defeating The Yale Daily News, 23-2.

The Crimson squad, which puts out Cambridge's only breakfast table daily in its spare time, completed its 99th season undefeated and untied.

Playing before a standing room only audience on wind-swept Soldiers Field, the Crimson breened to an easy win. The only fly in the ointment was the absence of bleechers.

The Crimson scored three times in the first quarter as end Rob Eggert consistently fooled the Eli defenders. Lining up on the sideline, trying to appear inconspicuous and unwanted. Eggert ambled onto the field to catch pass after pass against the unwary Yale secondary.

After praying Deacon Dake religiously hit Eggert for his third consecutive T.D. pass, the Elis cried foul and threatened to walk off the field.

But Dale S. Russakoff, the loveliest of the Crimson gridders, rushed to comfort the Yalien and convinced them to stay while. She was obviously the spark to light their fires (Yale coeds don't make it) as the Crimson never threatened the Eli goal again.

Ed Maurer and Bob Steinboum fought especially hard for the rest of the game, but the early 21 up lend was too much even for their stonewall defense.

Managing editor Charlie Cuneo explained his team's poor showing. "I was setting up the press for our new tabloid size paper and my index finger got en ought in the rollers," he said.

The Dally News executive board, which went into early retirement Tuesday, still hasn't recovered from the trauma of publishing a tab. "We ran out of large sheets of paper one night so we just switched to tabloid format," one editor admitted. "Too much grease for my hair," another said.

Yale's only score came on a second half safety when the Deacon faded-back to pass and tripped on a misplaced turkey. The Eli rushers dived for the bird with thoughts of Thanksgiving dancing in their heads. They mimed, landed on the Deacon, and were awarded two points.

On the last play of the game, the Crimson struck back with a safety to preserve the 21 point margin.

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