GAMESMANSHIP

To the Editors of the Crimson:

Bewilderment and intense mental anguish invariably accompany the onset of final exams for the average Harvard student because the manner in which final examinations are administered leaves him with an overwhelming sense of their importance but only a superficial perception of their meaning and their relation to his life outside the university. The context in which a student takes his exams is alien to him and to the purpose exams are intended to serve. In light of these considerations, we submit the following proposal for a revised examination procedure.

At the beginning of reading period, tickets for admission to all exams become available at 60 Boylston Street in exchange for the appropriate coupons. Date tickets for adjoining seats may be purchased at the regular price. However, the regulations expressly prohibit any Harvard student taking a Cliffie to an exam.

All final exams are administered in Memorial Hall. As each student enters the building he receives the Official Harvard Final Examination Program. Inside his copy he finds photos of faculty members; a group shot of the student body, taken at the Yale game, with row by row identification; record high and low exam scores; an up-to-date listing of the standings of all students; and, in the middle, an exam blue book.

After all present have been seated by the ushers, the head proctor reads the general rules and introduces the assistant proctors, dressed in black and white striped shirts, who then distribute the exam papers. The proctor again addresses the assemblage: "Ladies and gentlemen, will you please rise and sing our national anthem." When the applause and cheers at the conclusion of the song have subsided and a quiet anticipation has settled over the crowd, the proctor blows his whistle to start the clock and the writing.

Vendors rove up and down the center aisle, shouting, "Hey, Get your hot dogs here." Students near the aisle grow increasingly annoyed that much of their time is spent passing food and money. Next time they'll pick up their tickets earlier.

Any student caught violating the rules of fair play--e.g., grabbing the writing arm of another student--is sent to the penalty box for five minutes, during which time he may do no writing. If a violator draws blood, he incurs a ten minute penalty. If he takes a swing at a proctor, he draws an exam misconduct and is expelled from the hall, his exam book being turned in at that point.

At the end of the first 90 minutes, the Harvard Band presents a brief half-time show. Students who are already sure of the outcome of their efforts may turn in their books and leave.

As time runs out, all eyes glance more and more at the clock. Many students take up the count: "10...9...8...." As the buzzer sounds, wild cheers fill the hall, and those numbering themselves among the victors carry off their professors on their shoulders. John Czajka '73   Ronald Inselberg '73   Tom Mahoney '73