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Merry Christmas, Ho Ho Ho

By Dwight Cramer

GREETINGS TO ALL, far and near;

An overfull dose of Christmas Cheer.

The lights are dim, the heat is down;

There's damned little fuel left in town,

So have a drink, get warm inside,

Friends will toast this Christmastide.

Good cheer, first, to the Boks,

And for George Putnam, rising stocks.

For Daly and Steiner, Champion and Hall,

Revenge when they play us in basketball.

A Christmas greeting to all our friends,

We'll make a list that never ends.

To the Wolves, Robert and Joel,

Merry Christmas, Happy Noel.

Bott and Birkoff, Griffiths, Gleason,

Numerous greetings of the season.

Albert Lord, Dean Rosovsky,

Clifford C. Lamberg-Karlovsky,

Fanger, Fleming, Womack, Clive,

Ackermann, Coolidge, Whipple, Slive,

Gintis, MacEwan, Marglin, Bowles,

A dose of Marx, a brand new Rolls.

To Bryant and Ives, happy Noel,

And Merry Christmas to Titcomb, Caldwell,

For Wendell Furry and Stanley Surrey,

A holiday as warm as Moynihan's curry.

If we threw ourselves a Christmas blast,

We'd ask John Marquand for our cast.

There we'd find Matina Horner,

And those with her in Radcliffe's corner,

Arthurs, Mayman, Keenan, Levine,

Plus Marty Peretz, the poor man's dream.

We send to others a Merry Scream

To Popkin for this Yuletide dream,

Smithies, Chalmers, Heimerts, Dunns,

Andrews, Stewarts, they're the ones.

Kaiser Walter Leonard Bernstein,

Arrow, Allison, Otto Eckstein,

Away from classrooms, to the party,

Where you'll meet Kilson, Marty.

Riesman David Donald Stone,

Ewart Guinier and Doug Schoen,

When Santa begins to fill up socks,

He'll probably start with Archie Cox,

Tapes, convictions, more indictments,

Nixon jailed would be excitement.

But closer to home we'd like to see,

Gifts to Harvard dons of all degree.

A trip to France for Laurence Wylie,

Another committee for Robert Kiely,

For Daniel Robbins, some new old change,

For Levi and Lewontin some animals strange.

For Baker, Bacon, books aplenty,

For Bate and Buckley students many.

Good Freund we wish a spot for you,

Though Supreme Court seats are rare and few.

For Kevin Starr a Calif. dream,

Another course for Mike Useem,

A pleasant year off for Harry White,

A trip to China for Perkins, Dwight.

Herbert Bloch gets Greeks and Romans,

A quiet year for George C. Homans.

For Burton Dreben a little more cash,

A few more students for Leonard Nash.

And so our list, watch it grow,

For Vermont and skiers we wish snow.

For Spook, Lux, DuWatt, and Swan,

Not much more than peace beyon'.

We hope next season is majestic,

Give a Yale victory to Joe Restic.

Another pass to McInally, Pat,

For Loyal Park success at bat.

A new arena for Satch Sanders,

Close hoop coverage of reporter Flanders.

A nice quiet duel for Shockley and Innis,

To put to rest the racist menace.

Goodbyes both to Bennett and Kyle,

For Thernstrom and Botein a greeting smile.

Our friends the machines we musn't ignore,

The Delta 2000, the Eliot House door,

A word to the Coop, if it's not too late,

More record sales--a higher rebate.

For The Crimson's new guard a year of success,

News, prophets and a shiny new press,

For Sorrento a store, just filled with candy,

For Miss Fickett accounts, that balance just dandy.

For the Aarons, Hank and Dan,

Two home runs, a new book plan.

For Reg Isaacs at least a new painting,

For Reverend Gomes a brand new sainting.

For Dean Watson, peace anew,

And an end to the Section 18 zoo.

We'll pause for a drink, some brandy or wine,

MORE FRIENDS are coming, all of them fine.

Sacks and Stendahl, dean and divine,

Cavell, Rawls, Putnam and Quine,

Westheimer and Dolphin,

Doering and Dan Fenn,

Pre-med and Kennedy Library men.

Von Stade and Whitlock, o'er students they range,

Keeping track of a herd, a group rather strange,

Lipset and Bell, Cohen and Beer,

Also a question to one who won't be here:

Dean Dunlop, John Dunlop, please let us know,

Why the cost of living still seems to grow.

And this poem, too has continued to grow,

Past the point to which we meant it to go,

For though we left out many a friend,

Poems, if not our friends, must come to an end.

So rather than drag it out more long than is right,

We wish "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night."

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