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Parody

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

T-shirts distributed the parody to the 70,000 people attending the Harvard-Yale football game Saturday, some of whom were disturbed by its numerous inaccuracies.

William McChesney Martin Jr. (Yale '28), for example, chairman of the Yale Corporation Planning Committee, collared a Crimson editor outside of the Yale Bowl and attempted to have him arrested by a nearby policeman.

The special issue had quoted Martin as saying that he was "anxious to call his lawyer in Chicago to make sure that Yale was once again included in his will."

Brewster was reported to be looking forward to "a life of leisure and debauchery" at the Court of St. James. "Things just aren't the same anymore," he said. "All the students want to go off and study."

According to the parody, Brewster's decision to leave Yale came after his annual luncheon with President Bok.

"I just sat there and listened to Derek tell me about all the money Harvard is raking in," Brewster said. Prompted to a comparison with his own fund drive, he said, "Let's be realistic, the whole idea to have a big campaign in the middle of a depression was not the best decision in Yale's history."

The so-called News speculated that possible successors for Brewster included James Q. Wilson, Shattuck Professor of Government at Harvard ("It's unclear whether the prospects of replacing Brewster would outweigh the loss of prestige and nearly $25.000 salary cut he would undergo if he left Harvard"). Hale Champion, Harvard's financial vice-president ("The word from Cambridge is that he's itching to move into a position with more power"), Charles U. Daly ("works part-time as Harvard's vice-president for government and community affairs"), and various other Harvard faculty administrators.

Brewster had an opportunity to extend his personal regrets to the students of Yale in an advertisement on the last page of the issue.

"I must ask of you only two final favours," he wrote: "that you beat Harvard on the playing fields today and teach Derek Bok once and for all that everything he is he owes to me; and that after the football game you all drop by my house for drinks and dinner. Mary and I will be disappointed if you don't make it."

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