News

The New Gen Ed Lottery System, Explained

News

Armed Individuals Sighted in Harvard Square Arraigned

News

Harvard Students Form Coalition Supporting Slave Photo Lawsuit's Demands

News

Police Apprehend Armed Man and Woman in Central Square

News

107 Faculty Called for Review of Tenure Procedures in Letter to Dean Gay

Dear Mom

Savoir-Faire

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Hi, how are you doing? Sorry I didn't write earlier but I've been really busy It's not easy being a senior, you know.

Anyway, I'm writing now for two reasons. First of all, Harvard is playing at Brown this afternoon, and I just want to make sure that you and Dad are going to the game. If so, please bring about a dozen sandwiches--and no corned beef from Sol's Deli.

I'll be in Providence around noon, so I'll meet you at the corner where the kid sells Ivy League pennants. This should really bring back some fond memories, because remember how many times Dad used to drag me to Brown to see football games on Saturday afternoons. You know what, I don't think Brown ever won. And you know what else. I would have much preferred to stay home and play touch football in Buttonwood Park than see Brown-Lafayette games in Providence.

Anyway, that brings me to the second reason for writing. You see, I've got a problem, and it's not the type that a bowl of chicken soup can solve. And no, I don't need money. Every Saturday I predict Ivy League football games in The Crimson. What? You haven't gotten any Crimsons this fall? That's funny, because no one around here has either.

But back to the point. Two years ago, as a sophomore, I used to pick the team I always thought would win. Hence, I picked Harvard to lose three times that fall.

Now, though, circumstances prevent me from ever being able to pick against the Crimson (that's the football team, not the paper). The main reason why is that I can't have a good time at the games if I've predicted Harvard to lose. I go to Harvard. I want Harvard to win. I didn't even apply to Dartmouth or Princeton. New Haven is boring. Cornell is too far away. Colubmia is dangerous. Dad went to Brown. Colgate's a toothpaste.

So, you say, what's the problem? Why not just pick Harvard and whatever happens, happens. Sports, you always tell me, is just for fun. Right?

Wrong, because at the beginning of the year I talked to one of the Winthrop House tutors about applying to grad school, and was told that to get in I had to maintain a career score of .800 or above.

Now do you see my problem? At this moment, my season average is hovering slightly above the desired level with three weeks remaining. As a matter of fact, without the Harvard games this year, I'm 24 for 25, which is almost perfect, and I know you think I'm perfect.

Including the Harvard games, though, where I'm only batting .500, my average jumps down considerably, and since today's game is no sure Crimson triumph, I'm jeopardizing my future by following the dictates of my heart.

Oh, well. You're probably bored by now, so I guess I'll have to reach a decision by myself. Take care, and remember no corned beef sandwiches. See you around 10 Harding Street, sport. Love, Mike

Before I give you this week's winners, does anybody have a stamp they could lend me?

HARVARD at BROWN--You know what happened the last time I asked my mother for advice? Harvard 21, Brown 14, and if I'm wrong again this week, well, I didn't want to go to grad school anyway.

YALE at CORNELL--You have to figure that if Cornell played a football game every week for an entire year, then Bob Blackman probably would surprise somebody. Probably. Yale 31, Cornell 20.

DARTMOUTH at COLUMBIA--Possibly the surprise game of the week. Curt Oberg, according to sources in Hanover, is out, but would you believe someone from Dartmouth? Dartmouth 17, Columbia 16.

PRINCETON at PENN--Easily the closest game...on paper, anyway. On the one hand, if Princeton wins last week's Harvard loss will be easier to take. On the other, if Penn wins the Quakers will let down when they come to Cambridge next Saturday. On the other...ooops, I ran out. Princeton 16. Penn 10.

Last week: Four right, one wrong (.800)

Season: 27 right, four wrong (.871)

Season minus Harvard games: 24 right, one wrong (.960)

Career: 93 right, 23 wrong (.802). That's two points to spare. See you around the campus, sports.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

Tags