The Harvard Crimson presents... The Seven Warning Signs of Pinball

The Harvard Crimson is pleased to bring, as a public service, the Seven Warning Signs of Pinball to the Harvard community. We suggest you examine your fingers once a month for symptoms that could indicate you are addicted to pinball. If you answer "yes" to four or more of the above questions, and find yourself resembling the people in the above pictures, we advise you to look at yourself carefully in a mirror. Is this what you are paying $7000 a year for? Do you want your children to grow up knowing the horror of having a pinball addict in the family? Do you seriously delude yourself into believing that you will be able to get into law school now? Take a deep breath; and run, don't walk, to UHS. Does someone you are close to exhibit these symptoms? Be sympathetic--pinball addiction is a disease, and addicts are sick people--but be firm. Tell them you will leave them for the pre-med down the hall if they don't seek counseling soon. But do something now--tomorrow morning may be too late.