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Dear Savoir-Faire

Cracker Jack

By John Donley

Mr. Michael K. Savit

Sports Editor Emeritus

10 Harding St.

New Bedford, Mass. 02740

Dear Mike,

Hey, you ol' stinker, how's it goin'? I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write earlier, but you know how it is senior year, what with EXTRAs to write and toga parties and all.

But lemme tell ya, Mike, this senior year business isn't all it's cranked up to be. I got into Bio 106 all right, just like you told me to, but Boats and Gas Stations gave me schedule conflicts.

Then I wrote this column that said Harvard was going to much on the Columbia Lions like so many fried shrimp on the first leg of an Ivy title march, or else I'd eat my byline. Well, you can see by the looks of things at the top of this piece that it's not just turkey tetrazzini I've been snacking on these days.

But worst of all, Mike, I went 1-and-3 in the first week of the Sports Cube Predix. I know how you always used to tell me that the first week's predictions are basically like hourlies--they don't count in the long run--but this is humiliating. I mean, I can't even show my face in Astro 8 anymore.

And even if I take my percentage minus Harvard games, I'm still 1-and-2, which is to say a .333 percentage, which is to say I'd be about 12 games behind the Toronto Blue Jays if I were in the AL East.

I asked my brother-in-law the doctor what he thought was wrong with me, Mike, and he told me he thought I was crazy. I told him I wanted a second opinion, and he told me I was ugly--and this was my own brother-in-law, Mike.

So I have a couple of favors to ask you, Savo, and I'm prepared to pay big bucks. First of all, I want your secret formula for predicting Ivy League football games. It looks like I won't be able to graduate summa cum laude as a predicter, as you did, but it would be nice to get a magna. Hell, at this point I'd take CLGS.

Second, I'd like to get your permission to abandon your First Rule of Predicting: "Remember to whom you pay your tuition." UMass just looks too tough right now.

And third of all, do you remember God's address from that letter you wrote Him last year. Another predicting week like last one, and I'll need all the help I can get.

See you around the campus, sport. Sincerely,   John

P.S. --I'm still waiting for Baggott's check for all those pictures we ran of him last fall.

*****

I have cleaned my crystal ball with lye and Ajax, and am now back in fine form after last week, the worst in Sports Cube prediction history (combined totals: four right, 16 wrong).

CORNELL at COLGATE--Bob Blackman notches his first '78 win against a weakened Red Raider squad. Cornell 21, Colgate 17.

UMASS at HARVARD--The Minuteman rushing attack is just too strong for the Crimson defensive front. UMass 28, Harvard 24, and I'll love it if I'm wrong.

PRINCETON-RUTGERS--The Tigers always have an upset early in the year. Here's guessing it'll be this week. Rinceton 20, Rutgers 19.

URI at BROWN--You've got to be kidding. Brown 28, URI 10.

LAFAYETTE at COLUMBIA--Now I know you're kidding. Columbia, 31-Lafayette 12.

UCONN at YALE--Now you're rubbing it in. Yale 35, UConn 3.

DARTMOUTH at HOLY CROSS--Joe Yukica has the Buddy Teevens aerial connection clicking, but the Crusaders are riding high. Heads Dartmouth, tails Holy Cross. It's up in the air, it's, it's, it's tails. Holy Cross, 14-13.

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