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Reunion

TAKING SIDES

By Richard J. Appel

On the evening of November 5th. The New York Times reported 180 former employees of Richard M. Nixon joined the former President to celebrate the tenth anniversary of his land slide reelection victory. "Welcome Class of '72," a banner read. "The guest, the Times wrote, "did not talk about Watergate." Instead, Rose Marx Woods saluted her old boss as "the most honorable man this country ever produced." "After a standing ovation, the group joined hands and sang 'God Bless America. Nixon then strode to a piano and played 'Let me Call You Sweetheart.'" He ended his remarks by quoting Theodore Roosevelt. "The credit," Nixon began, "belongs to the man...who, at the worst, if he jails, at least jails while daring greatly." Many eyes filled with tears.

AUGUST 9, 1984: An aging group of classmates assembled in Washington today as hundreds of former White House employees helped Richard M. Nixon mark the tenth anniversary of his resignation from the Presidency. Beneath a ceiling draped with dark, carbon streamers, Mistress of Ceremonies Rose Mary Woods began the evening by passing out complimentary copies of her recent bestseller. The Rose Mary Woods Guide to 200 Honorable American Men.

Gazing towards the assembled. Woods toasted Spiro Agnew as "the second most honorable man this country ever produced." In a corner of the ballroom, former Presidential Aide Charles Colson and former Attorney General John Mitchell engaged in a bit of good-natured banter Ranked at 63 in Woods' compilation, Colson bested both Mitchell and former president Abraham Lincoln by four and five places, respectively. "It's an honor to see you again, John." Colson said. "Perhaps so, Charles, but it's a greater honor to see you Rose Mary says so." The two chuckled as Woods directed their attention to the former president.

"Theodore Roosevelt," the former secretary said, "envisioned statesmen who would are greatly. Well, you approved hush money for a political cover-up of unprecedented proportions--unprecedented mind you. I think it's sale to say that we all worked for the most daring public official this country has ever produced."

A standing ovation followed. After calming the crowd, Woods asked for a moment of silence in honor of government service. In an apparently spontaneous gesture of support, the group fell silent for nearly 19 minutes.

The former President, visibly moved, ambled towards a piano and played "I Got It Bad and that Ain't Good." "They don't treat me sweet and gentle, the way they should have, I got it bad and that ain't good." he warbled. Finishing his rendition of the Billie Holiday classic. Nixon addressed the gathering.

"In 1893, Theodore Roosevelt delivered a speech." Nixon said, drawing a direct parallel to his closing remark at the 1982 reunion.

"The first duty of an American citizen," Roosevelt said, is that he shall work in politics; his second duty is that he shall do that work in a practical manner; and his third is that it shall be done with the highest principles of honor and justice.'"

"I guess that gives me a batting average of 333," Nixon mused. "How many Presidents can say they missed Ted Williams record by but 70 percentage points? Few. I'd guess." Not a dry eye remained in the ballroom.

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