Spare Us The Sox

Dear Boston,

Having only recently arrived in this fair city, I realize that I am in no position to make patronizing observations. Yet, as no one in this town seems to possess even a modicum of common sense when it comes to a certain subject, I will proceed.

It is winter. There is snow on the ground.

So what's all over the sports page? Stupid question, considering that all those wonderfully exciting winter sports like hockey and basketball and, until recently, football are now in bloom.

The answer, of course, is the Red Sox.

Sun or snow, July or December, it is always the Red Sox.

It's not that I don't love baseball. It is unquestionably the greatest sport in America, but that's not the point. The point is a 365-day-a-year obsession with an overrated team that's always supposed to contend for yet hasn't won a World Series since...

Searching into the record books we find that it's only been about 66 years. But who cares, anyway?

Even in the summer, the beloved Carmine Hose play 162 games.

One-hundred and sixty-two.

Each one is treated with the respect it deserves, needless to say. Every single Sox outing gets the media and public attention reserved in other locales for events like the Second Coming.

I'm not talking about exaggeration or embellishment; this is hysteria, mass hysteria.

In Washington, the citizenry is crazy about the Redskins, but the Hogs and Company only play 19 games a year, and at least they win most of them.

Which leads to a scary though--what if the Red Sox, by some random act of God, were actually to deliver the goods to their demented followers? The very frustration that defines the existence of these types would be resolved. They would have no more reason to exist. Jonestown II in the Hub?

I, for one, am not worried. There seems to be little reason to think that the Sox could ever win. If they won their last championship in 1918, mathematically, considering that there were only 16 major league teams at the time, they have been defying the odds for a long time.

I have also heard enough about the city's favorite three-ring-circus--LeRoux, Sullivan and Yawkey.

For consistency's sake at least, they are following the tradition of a club that once sold a left-handed pitclier named Babe Ruth to the Yanks. Way to go, Sox.

With spring training--finally--right around the corner, it looks like just another year in which they really don't seem to want to win. Love,

Individual Free Throw Percentages   FT  FTA  Avg. 1. Bob Ferry, Harvard  48  51  94.1 2. Boggs, SW Missouri  58  63  92.1 3. Alford, Indiana  81  88  92.0 4. Chris Mullin, St. John's  106  117  90.6 5. White, Tennessee-Chattanooga  83  92  90.2 6. Joe Carrabino, Harvard  69  77  89.6 7. Golston, Loyola-Illinois  92  103  89.3 8. Eaves, Seton Hall  58  65  89.2 9. Anthony Arnolie, Penn  63  71  88.7 10. Sleets, Murray  67  76  88.2

NCAA Division I statistics as of February 6. Wednesday night against Duke, Ferry went 8-for-8 from the line and Carrabino was 2-for-4.

NCAA Division I statistics as of February 6. Wednesday night against Duke, Ferry went 8-for-8 from the line and Carrabino was 2-for-4.