Ask Not What You Can Do for the Kennedy School



Petty Assistant

To: Dean of the Kennedy School

Harvard University

Dear Dean,


Someone passing herself off as your assistant seems to have stolen your letterhead.

Let's not beat around the bush, Dean. I've got the cash, you've got the leverage. $20 U.S. says I deserve a Kennedy School affiliation. And it that ain't enough, I'm willing to throw in volunteer time--organizing teas, attending cocktail parties. Why? Because I'm a desperate man. Because I'm a crazy man. Don't mess with me.

Thanking you in advance,

Jeffrey J. Wise

P.S. I've got a gun.

To: Mr. Jeffrey J. Wise

Harvard College

Dear Mr. Wise,

I read your note of x/xx/xx with a great deal of interest. I appreciate the fact that you are under a great deal of stress, and that you are armed. I also believe that the name of no organization, even that of the Kennedy School of Government, is so august that it cannot be sold. Therefore, upon receipt of your $20, I will forward a copy of your Kennedy School papers.

With affection,

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