'Poonsters Rally, Celebrate Harvard's New #1 Ranking

Harvard students turned out in droves yesterday at the steps of Widener Library to celebrate Harvard's U.S. News & World Report ranking as the top University in the nation.

The gala event brought together nearly nearly 200 people, rivaling the recent Afro-American Studies protest last week. Participants chanted, "Hey, Hey, Ho, Ho, Harvard College, Way to Go," and passed out champagne to spectators.

The celebration was sponsored by members of the Harvard Band and the Harvard Lampoon, a semi-secret Bow Street organization which occasionally publishes what they claim are humor magazines.

"There are some who say that Harvard classes are large and impersonal," said Lampoon Ibis Lance P.D. Khazei '91. "But the world is large and impersonal. If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen."

"There are some who say that Harvard may have the brightest professors but Harvard students aren't happy," Khazei added. "But we say, 'Wake up. Life isn't about being happy. It's about going places.'"

Despite Harvard's ranking, speakers criticized the methods U.S. News uses to determine its yearly report.

"It's blasphemous to rank Harvard with the proletarian universities. We are Gods and they are our children," said Khazei. "God didn't rest on the seventh day, he went to Harvard."

The half-hour rally broke out at approximatly five minutes before 1 p.m. Students said the loud drums, which could be heard on Mass. Ave., disturbed classes in nearby Sever Hall, disrupting mid-term exams and discussion sections.

The protesters and on-lookers toted signs, reading, "We Are Great after All," "Jesus was a Legacy," and "Harvard: the Harvard of the U.S."

Alexander H. Berg '91, Lampoon editor without portfolio, introducted himself as "William Segourney Otis," the author of the university rankings article. Berg, in character, said his life-long dream has always been to place Harvard in the top U.S. News slot.

"You are champions and no one can take that away from you," he said.