Some Morning Thoughts

On the John

Here's some food for thought with your pancakes and beer.

Did you hear England didn't qualify for the World Cup? Too bad, I was really hoping to meet some hooligans. Nice group of people, huh?

No really, it's perfectly normal. They're bored, maybe a little lonely, so they throw a stranger into a fence, kick him a few times, and spit in his face. It's nothing that doesn't happen every day at Alcatraz.

.What about the Houston Oilers? An offensive lineman chooses to spend time with his wife who just gave birth (and had previously had a miscarriage) instead of flying to New England to play our beloved Patriots.

So the team "fines" him $125,000. That's fair. Just ask Vince Lombardi: football before family.

Seriously, his decision changed everything. It threw the game wide open. I think Las Vegas changed its line.

The Patriots (who couldn't beat a local Pop Warner team) were suddenly the favorites. There's no way the Oilers could protect their quarterback against New England's swarming pass rush with an offensive lineman missing.

In fact, the fine should have been bigger. That way the Houston front office could go out and buy a little class.

.How about the Bruins? Three straight one-goal games. What they need is a new stud up front, someone who really knows how to score. Do you think Wilt Chamberlain can skate?

On the topic of NHL hockey, I give my vote to The Anaheim Mighty Ducks for best mascot. Its a nice touch, Eisner. Thanks for the joke.

Or how about hockey in Dallas? And not in Minnesota? What's next, baseball in Siberia? Maybe a marathon in Death Valley?

.Were there really 29 runs scored in a World Series game? Just think, one baseball game produced more scoring than the Patriots have all season.

The designated hitter rule in the series makes a lot of sense. Did Dan Quayle become the new commissioner of baseball?

.I'd like to offer my condolences to Derrick Coleman and his family. The nerve of the Nets to only offer him 69 million dollars. Who could possibly live on that kind of money?... A small nation perhaps. Maybe two.

.Has any major league ever lost more than the NBA has in the last two years? Magic, Larry and Michael, the Holy Trinity of the hoops court have walked away.

David stern must be loving life right about now. Of course these three have made basketball so popular and profitable that Larry Moe and Curly could become the ambassadors of basketball without any ill effects.

.I love this idea about ESPN2. Now I can watch Wrestle Mania IX without having to shell out big bucks.

Even better, the tractor pull national championships will be available for the whole country to enjoy. And rodeos. I can catch up on may cowboy lingo. It should be fun.

Oh, one last question.

Now that he's retired, do you think Michael Jordan will make the Hall of Fame? It should be close but my money's on him... and so is his.