Why does she have to be me for Halloween?

Dear Norma,

I'm interested in a girl, but I think I should figure out if she's even an option. How does one learn whether someone is single or not?

Wondering in Wigglesworth

Dear Wondering,

I want to commend you on your sense of right and wrong. Many people would say, "Her boyfriend be damned! I'm going after her, 'taken' or not! Full speed ahead!" or something like that.

Back to your question. First of all, watch her constantly. Does she talks to men? If so, who are they? Keep a daily record of men she talks to, and include such information as, "duration" and "significant body language exchanged during conversation." This data could help you figure out if there's Someone Special in her life. Secondly, ask around: utilize the fascinating web of interpersonal relationships at this school. Get the dirt from her roommates and friends. You can do extra research by talking to her professors, tutors, parents or siblings. You may be surprised by the stuff they know. Finally, you could confront her, kind of. Raise your eyebrows and murmur, "I know what you did last night." If she blushes and says, "Yeah, I have eight pages done, two to go," you're on your way, buster. But if she says, "Yeah, sorry about the noise," then unfortunately you may be out of luck.

Dear Norma,

Last year at this time my roommate walked into my room and announced, "I have decided what I will be for Halloween. I will be YOU." Sure enough, she dressed up just like me and talked just like me and even borrowed my boyfriend for the evening.

The problem is, she's still doing it. As you can imagine, her little masquerade is getting kind of old. Any suggestions? Freaked Out in North

Dear Freaked Out,

What a spooky little problem you have there. Your situation sounds much like the predicament in the film, "Single White Female." However, I'm sure the two of you can resolve this without the violence depicted in the movie. You should take your roommate aside and tell her in a calm, loving way, "Look. It's been a year now. Aren't you tired of being me? Aren't you tired of attending my boring courses, wearing my boring clothes, dating my boring boyfriend? You are a beautiful person on your own merits. Be yourself. I love you just the way you are--or were." If this doesn't work, you could always take revenge by dressing up as your roommate dressing up as you. This would also allow you to reposess your boyfriend. Just make sure that he isn't in need of counseling at this point--I'm sure he must be a very mixed up young man.

Dear Norma,

I always thought "Daryl" was a cutie, but I was involved with someone else. Now I'm not. Now he is. What to do?

Unlucky in Love and in Leverett

Dear Unlucky,

That sucks. Sounds like a case of really bad timing to me. You have two options: a)shrug your shoulders, hold your head up high, and tell yourself "Daryl" picked the wrong person and who cares anyway. Or, b) tell yourself, "Daryl's girlfriend be damned! I'm going after him, `taken' or not! Full speed ahead!" Good luck, dear.