`Mr. T' Visits Lampoon Castle

Hollywood Star in Town to Promote His New Comic Book

Sporting his trademark mohawk, gold chains adorned with silverware, massive hoop earrings (three per ear) and five rings, Hollywood celebrity Mr. T made a colossal appearance at a Lampoon informational meeting last night.

"Is there a Mr. T comp?" bellowed a deep, brute voice in the comedy library of the purportedly comical magazine. "Because...I'm the best Mr. T on campus!"

Despite his impressive argumentative ability, Mr. T will not be vying for a spot on the Lampoon, but will instead be returning to the steps of the building today at 3:00 p.m. to receive an honorary award.

Currently in town to promote his comic book "Mr. T and the T Force," the former A-Team star issued a few comic exchanges with the magazine's members, reaffirming his fear of flying and displaying his impressive familiarity with Kenny Rogers lyrics.

"You gotta know when to hold `em, know when to fold `em," Mr. T. recited.


Much Shorter

"It was a thrill," said Mia Genoni `96, a prospective comper who said she was stunned not only by Mr. T's appearance but also his height. "He's shorter...much shorter," she said.

After chatting for a few minutes, Mr. T exited the building, trailed by a horde of fans.

He answered questions, shook hands and after accidentally knocking over a student's bicycle, offered to buy her a new one.

Finally begging off, Mr. T said his appetite needed fixing, inquired about dinner--and then sailed away in a white limousine.

"I'm a big Mr. T. fan," said Jim Tierney `96 after the event. "I was pretty impressed."