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FOR THE MOMENT

Love in the Time of Cyberspace

By Alberta Laktonen

Love letters may be back in fashion--in a different form. The Abelards and Heloises, the Vicomtes de Valmont and the Marquises de Merteuil of today communicate via e-mail, the technology of the '90s, not via the post, known affectionately as snail mail.

While a computer screen (with typos) may seen less romantic than a hand-written note (especially one doused in perfume), e-mail lovers of today say they prefer the speed and convenience of the former method of communication to the history and allure of the latter.

So off they trek to the Science Center basement, or if they're lucky, to a roommate's machine. As homework gets neglected for passionate late-night electronic trysts, these '90s lovers whisper sweet nothings--by means of a keyboard.

Most of these discreet lovers say the use e-mail to communicate with boyfriends and girlfriends from other places; these aficionados cite speed as the main advantage over letters and price as the clear benefit over the telephone. For first-years and the odd upperclassperson with a hometown honey, e-mail "rocks their world," according to one student, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Jonathan S. Bell '97 says he keeps in touch with his girlfriend at Cornell by "writing e-mail a few times a day and trying to talk for a half-hour each night, but it doesn't always happen." Bell finds the speed of e-mail communication especially helpful to his relationship. E-mail is "like a letter, but it is instantaneous. it is a good way to keep up on each other's lives."

Students, most of whom preferred to remain anonymous, differ on the erotic advantages of e-mail conversation. One student, who spoke on condition of anonymity, says "it's kind of like courtly love because you can never touch the person. You can seduce with words without risking the wounds of love." He adds, "you can't have immediate satisfaction which makes it all the more pleasurable. It brings some of the eroticism back."

Other students do not see the merits to this ideal. One Science Center e-mail correspondent has a personal story to tell. "I e-mailed him out of the blue and told him he could have sex with me if he wrote back," recounts one anonymous undergraduate. Now she says they have been together for over a week, and she has already fulfilled her promise.

Occasionally e-mail can put a strain on a romantic interchange. "It is hard sometimes because you can't always interpret certain things, like a joke, or if the person is happy or sad," says Bell.

This ambiguity, however, is attractive to some e-mail users. One anonymous student became friends with a student at another college who randomly wrote to her. She states that the "impersonal aspect of e-mail can be kind of nice. You have to say what you mean, then explain it. You can't read anything into it."

The student tells of a relationship, started only via e-mail, that went awry. "He is getting wacked out. He wants to exchange pictures, talk on the phone, write real mail, and visit." Real mail? Phone calls? That's too serious. "He writes that he loves me, and I write, 'that's nice'."

"I love you, honey." Ctrl-X. Send: Y.

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