Those Blocking Blues

Forget midterms and forget finals, This month must be the most difficult month for any first-year at Harvard. Friends are being lost and feelings are being hurt because it's once again time to pick roommates and block mates for next year.

Some tension is inevitable, but much of the angst that first-years are feeling can be avoided. Too many first-years start thinking about possible roommates too early. This misguided foresight results in two very common scenarios.

First case scenario; It is mid-November. Mo and Curly are best friends(as good friends as two people can be two months into the school year). Mo suggests to Curly that they live together next year and Curly enthusiastically agrees. This way Curly doesn't need to worry about having a friend come March who wants to live with him.

But as the year continues, Mo and Curly meet new and different people. As March approaches, Mo decides that he really wants to live with some of his new friends but he doesn't want to live with Curly anymore. Although Curly is meeting new people as well (he's no loser), he still wants to live with Mo.

The problem arises when Mo realizes that Curly still wants to live with him and he doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell him that the feeling is not mutual. In fact, he doesn't even tell his until the week that rooming slips are due. Curly despises Mo, and Mo loses his first friend Curly.

Second case scenario: It is again mid-November. Mo and Curly are still great friends. They talk about the possibility of living together next year and both like it.

Mo and Curly meet new and different people, but this time even though Mo wants to live with his new-found friends, he also wants to live with Curly.

The problem now is that Mo's friends don't want to live with Curly and don't particularly care if Mo wants to live with Curly. In fact, Mo's three new friends even say that since it is three against two in favor of not living with Curly, that Curly cannot be a part of their block and Mo must tell him so.

Mo tells Curly, but Curly is still hurt because he thinks that Mo is giving into social pressure. Curly despises Mo and Mo loses his first friend Curly.

These two scenarios are unfortunately very common now, especially in the past couple of days as the pressure to finalize roommates and block mates kicks in. But these scenarios could have been avoided--or at least Curly's friendship with Mo could have been saved.

In the first scenario, there is an obvious lack of communication. But the root of the problem is that Mo and Curly should not have been thinking about who they were going to live with in November.

One of the things that I have observed since I have been here is that friends change. It is reasonable to assume that in the majority of cases, the friends that you make during orientation week aren't going to be your best friends come March.

It is therefore vital for first-years to wait a sufficient amount of time before even thinking about possible living arrangements for next year--or else too many feelings will be hurt come March.

In the second scenario, Curly and Mo are being treated unfairly by Mo's new friends. Their refusal to compromise leads to unnecessary aggravation.

First-years are finding it increasingly difficult to compromise when it comes to rooming. It is a rare occasion when there exists a perfect blocking group in which everyone is best friends with everyone else and can live with Brady Bunch-like contentment.

There is nothing wrong with compromising and accepting someone in your rooming or blocking group who you're not great friends with (yet), especially if someone in your rooming group really wants to live with them. First-years need to be more sympathetic and less selfish.

This is no doubt a very sensitive and difficult issue for any first-year at Harvard. Being a first-year myself, I am no expert, but I have experienced various forms of the two case scenarios. So here are some tips to help make things a little easier to deal with:

1)Don't be a Mo. The earlier you tell someone that you don't want to live with them or that your rooming group doesn't want to live with them the better. You need to be sensitive to this person's feelings and give them ample time to find another rooming situation.

2) Don't be a Curly. Keep some options open in regard to who you live with next year. Friends change.

3) Don't be like Mo's friends. Be open-minded and be willing to compromise. You will constantly meet new people and living with a friend of a friend is a perfect opportunity.

4) Don't be like Mo and Curly. Wait until late January of February to start thinking and talking about rooming for the following year.

Harvard students are used to planning ahead. When it comes to rooming groups, they may need to kick a good habit.