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O Negative

Mag-num P.I.

By Maggie Jacobberger

The expression goes "Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades." This statement was all too true for the Harvard women's soccer team yesterday, which left Chestnut Hill after dominating the Boston College Eagles for two hours with a lopsided 1-1 tie.

The Crimson hit everything but the inside of the net, as balls touched every inch around and over the goal. The "goal post and goalie palm" radar was in especially top from as a number of shots bounded off the sides of the goal and also seemed destined to land smoothly into the outstretched arms of Boston College goalie Courtney Schaeffer.

Frustrations ran high on the field, the bench and the stands, as opportunity after opportunity fled like the plague from the Crimson. Coach Tim Wheaton said the team was "hungry" to put the ball in the net.

Perhaps extreme starvation would better describe the mood of Crimson players and fans toward the number of blown opportunities.

And this is not just a 24 hour flu. In the Crimson's past three games, almost 100 shots on goal have been taken and only three have scored. You do the math. The percentages are U-G-L-Y.

Ironically, the one goal that was scored yesterday came in a nice neat box with a big Crimson bow tied on it. The Eagles goalie played Santa Claus after muffing a shot and leaving the goal wide open.

Senior fullback Lindsay Minkus said "Merry Christmas" and popped the ball into the back of the net, as the crowd and the bench let out a deep sigh of relief.

For the first time in a number of days it seemed as though the Goddess of Goals was listening to Harvard's prayers. But she was only playing more head games with the Crimson, which kept misshooting all the way through two overtimes.

Harvard's players had better hope the Goddess of Goals starts answering their prayers or it's going to be a very long trip back from Yale on Saturday.

Maybe the team should change their aim, shooting for everything but the back of the net. That might be the only way to get back on target.

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