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Sometimes interpreting signs can be difficult. To avoid wallowing in ignorance and stumbling into another embarassing situation, Teen FM gives you this handy guide to boy body language and verbal insinuation.
1. You're walking with a full tray towards the fro-yo machine in Annenberg. Your crush bumps into you, knocking your entire tray to the floor. He:
a) looks into your eyes as he bends to help you pick up the mess, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
b) looks at the floor as he agrees to find someone on staff to help clean it up.
c) looks at his friends, laughs, and points at you.
2. It's finally your turn to be paired up for a paper critique with that hot guy in Expos. He:
a) comes over to your room to brainstorm, then comes back to get some final points of "advice" once the paper is done...at 3 a.m.
b) drops the paper off in your door with some comments in chicken scratch and an illegible note saying "Call me if you have any questions."
c) stays after class to demand that the preceptor team him up with someone else--anyone else.
3. All your friends are planning to go to CityStep, and they're pressuring you to ask that hottie from First Nights. You corner him after section, and he says:
a) he'd love to.
b) he'd love to, because he already bought a ticket and rented a tux from Keezer's.
c) he'd love to, but with the pretty girl who asked him last Tuesday.
4. You finally get up the nerve to call him for coffee. His response is:
a) "Great. Pamplona. 8 p.m."
b) "Um, I've got two midterms, a paper and a friend visiting from Williams. Let me get back to you."
c) Dial tone.
5. Your crush is behind you in line as you get negged at the Grille. He says:
a) "Forget this. Let's grab some Noch's and go to my room."
b) "Oh, that sucks. See you around."
c) "Duh. Only pretty girls get into the Grille with ID that bad."
6. You ask your dreamboat if you can borrow his notes after flirtatiously tapping him on the shoulder in Bio lecture. He:
a) winks and says, "Winthrop B-52. Midnight. Be there."
b) says he doesn't have very good handwriting.
c) says, "Bitch, get out of my face," and, embarrassed, turns to his friends and mumbles, "I swear I don't know that girl."
7. On your way up to the ninth floor of the Leverett Towers, you realize your fave guy is the only other person on the elevator. He looks at you and:
a) smiles, then invites you over to watch Dawson's Creek. Joey and Dawson get it on this week.
b) is silent for the first four floors. Finally laments, "Gee, this thing is slow."
c) makes a dive for the "Open Door" button, leaping out of the elevator before you get a chance to say a word.
8. While at a party in DeWolfe, you bump into him (literally) and spill strawberry daiquiri all over his treasured DHA sweatshirt. He:
a) invites you back to his room so that he has some company while he changes.
b) grimaces. It was his last clean article of clothing.
c) retaliates, throwing beer in your face, and yelling, "Stop stalking me, you clumsy psycho."
9. Walking through the Yard, you bump into that varsity hottie in front of Boylston. He:
a) grabs your rear end, whispers sweet nothings in some foreign language, and asks you to dinner.
b) says "sorry."
c) looks mad and says, "Oh shit. Not you again."
10. You find his notebook on the floor of Science Center B, and of course e-mail him to report its recovery. In his reply, he signs off:
a) I want to jump your red hot bones! :) Joe
b) Thanks again - Joe
c) Stop stalking me, you pilfering psycho.
If you answered mostly a's
Congrats! This strapping young Harvard man definitely sweats you. Word to the wise: Watch out for his intentions. This smooth talker may be out for little more than a random hook-up. Beware of any bed larger than a twin extra-long.
If you answered mostly b's
This guy may have potential, but he's way too ambiguous to be taken seriously. He either totally digs you and is too shy to let on, or just isn't interested and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Word to the wise: Mixed signals = Typical Harvard male. Try partying at BC this weekend.
If you answered mostly c's
He's probably too immature to deal with his feelings for you. May still think girls have cooties. Word to the wise: perservere.
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