Moral issues aside, the Dartboard sees some practical objections to organ subsidies. For example, could this induce families to lie about the medical histories of their loved ones to make the organs appear more attractive? "Aunt Ginny hasn't touched the bottle in years!" Long term effects could be even more serious. While officials swear that there will be absolutely no bidding, this could be the first step towards a booming human organ market? Maybe celebrity organs would become a new hot commodity--if Elvis' sequined jackets would bring in thousands, what about his pancreas?
While organ shortages need to be addressed, the best approach may not be that of the free market. The "invisible hand" can be very efficient, but watch out before it grabs your liver.
Admittedly, Dartboard's Thayer and Canaday Hall residents have gotten lazy with our prayers since the clapper on Memorial Church's bell broke a couple of months ago. Beginning in September, we each woke from our peaceful slumber at a quarter 'till nine and counted 134 chimes of the bell before returning to a rather fitful sleep. Unfortunately the winds have changed, and our days of sleeping in have come to a close.
But there is no need to begin tormenting us again just before our beloved reading period begins. Let us greet Domna for the first time as we stumble in for a leisurely late lunch. Let us stay up late at night, working hard, of course, without fear of rude awakenings in the morning. Let us keep that window propped open at night so that a gentle spring breeze wakes us from our slumber rather than the irregular, abrasive toll of a brass bell. Doctors suggest at least eight hours of sleep a night--who is the University to say otherwise?
QUERIES IN EC-10--Adam M. Taub; ORGANS--Breezy H. Tollinger & Stephen E. Sachs; THAT DAMN BELL--Jordana R. Lewis.