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Dartboard

By The CRIMSON Staff

Shame on you Marty for trying to answer a year's worth of questions in just 53 minutes! Opening yourself up to questions (sort of) is fine, but frankly, once isn't enough. At no other point throughout the semester has Marty made himself easily accessible for students to ask him questions. He doesn't even hold office hours.

And don't think Dartboard hasn't noticed. More often than not, head TF Judith Li '94 escorts him from the stage after lecture, protecting him as he flees the premises. By the time curious students make it to the podium, God forbid, to ask a quick question, he's long gone.

The one exception was when Marty lectured on Social Security--a topic Dartboard knows is near and dear to his heart. He even stuck around to put his John Hancock on eager first years' lecture notes.

As reading period begins on Monday, Dartboard asks that Marty and other profs take stock of their undergrad courses. In your case, Marty, you're not giving your Ec-10 students enough time. These next two weeks provide a perfect opportunity to start crawling out of debt.

Dead Weight Gain

How are you planning to earn money this summer? I-banking? Consulting? Donating your right lung?

Pennsylvania has just announced that it will pay a $300 stipend to help families of organ donors cover funeral expenses to mitigate the organ shortage. Payments for organ donations are currently banned by a Federal law that classifies human organs as a national resource, presumably along the lines of the great Redwood forests. But Social Analysis 10 offers a different opinion in its Fall semester sourcebook, which will bring comfort to anyone with a newly deceased family member or friend:

"When demand exceeds supply for ordinary goods, the price is raised to suppliers in order to induce them to increase the quantities provided," counsels an article by economist and Nobel Laureate Gary S. Becker, and the same kind of incentives "would induce more people to allow their organs to be used for transplants after they die." Perhaps state officials read Becker's article before establishing the new policy, which informs the eligible families upon the death of their relatives if they are potential donors. Bereaved families could get to open the mail and read "You may have already won $300 !"

Moral issues aside, the Dartboard sees some practical objections to organ subsidies. For example, could this induce families to lie about the medical histories of their loved ones to make the organs appear more attractive? "Aunt Ginny hasn't touched the bottle in years!" Long term effects could be even more serious. While officials swear that there will be absolutely no bidding, this could be the first step towards a booming human organ market? Maybe celebrity organs would become a new hot commodity--if Elvis' sequined jackets would bring in thousands, what about his pancreas?

While organ shortages need to be addressed, the best approach may not be that of the free market. The "invisible hand" can be very efficient, but watch out before it grabs your liver.

Clap Off

Classes are over, and house formals and summer vacation are just within our reach. So left with nothing else to complain about (save those pesky exams), we have but one request: Let us sleep.

Admittedly, Dartboard's Thayer and Canaday Hall residents have gotten lazy with our prayers since the clapper on Memorial Church's bell broke a couple of months ago. Beginning in September, we each woke from our peaceful slumber at a quarter 'till nine and counted 134 chimes of the bell before returning to a rather fitful sleep. Unfortunately the winds have changed, and our days of sleeping in have come to a close.

But there is no need to begin tormenting us again just before our beloved reading period begins. Let us greet Domna for the first time as we stumble in for a leisurely late lunch. Let us stay up late at night, working hard, of course, without fear of rude awakenings in the morning. Let us keep that window propped open at night so that a gentle spring breeze wakes us from our slumber rather than the irregular, abrasive toll of a brass bell. Doctors suggest at least eight hours of sleep a night--who is the University to say otherwise?

QUERIES IN EC-10--Adam M. Taub; ORGANS--Breezy H. Tollinger & Stephen E. Sachs; THAT DAMN BELL--Jordana R. Lewis.

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