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The Wasteland

By Robert J. Saranchak

You know you want it. Those who love it will go to great lengths to get their hands on it. And no, I am not talking about ecstasy or nicotine, although for some, it may have the same effect.

It has an incredibly loyal following. Cult members get their fix whenever possible. People eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and desert. Some slyly stash mounds of it into plastic bags and Tupperware. When you see it, you just have to eat it. One rarely sees a full bin of it in the servery. It's a precious commodity.

The tone of my day is set by whether or not I have it for breakfast. I rush to the bins and search for my little brown loops of heaven. Hopefully, my eyes fall upon some Cracklin' Oat Bran just waiting to get in my belly. Because I love it, I pay close attention to how it is treated. I am shocked when I see bowls on the conveyor belt with unconsumed Cracklin' Oat Bran. In a visceral response, my whole body tenses up. Such a commodity should not go to waste.

Nonetheless, due to my consciousness of wasted Cracklin' Oat Bran, I make it a habit to skim the conveyor belt at every meal. Most of the time, I see many plates with a substantial amount of food on them. An all-you-can-eat buffet, such as the ones in Harvard's dining halls, unfortunately encourages this waste.

At breakfast, why settle for a glass of juice and a bowl of cereal when you can have juice, cereal, scrambled eggs, syrup-saturated pancakes and an oatmeal muffin for the same price and just a bit more effort? At dinner, why settle for pasta and a salad when you can have pasta, salad, chicken, garlic bread, pie and often less-than-frozen yogurt? And we wonder why we no longer fit into those skin-tight pants.

I am not advocating the abolition of the buffet. Nevertheless, I think that we can do a better job judging what quantity of cod, corn or Cracklin' Oat Bran we take. When you can always go back for seconds, why take a gladiatorial proportion and realize that you are not Maximus as you throw your silverware down the shoot and watch a plate of cold London broil on its way to a Cambridge garbage truck?

In addition to smaller portions, we can be more efficient by considering what is offered at every meal before taking anything. For instance, if the first item of hot food that catches your eye is beef fajitas, you may jump at the opportunity, realizing that you have not seen the inside of a Taco Bell in three months. As you excitedly leave the hot food area and pass the pasta, your eyes fall upon pesto sauce and you immediately think of Grandma Viola with her magnificent ravioli. Remembering the succulent aroma of her kitchen as you fill a hefty bowl with penne and pesto, it occurs to you that there is a reason Taco Bell and the Olive Garden have not merged. You are stuck with two entrees, but your stomach cannot even ponder pesto beef let alone the prospect of purchasing yet another pair of pants. As a result, you end up throwing out a plate of Mexican perfection. This can be avoided in three ways. First, you could read the menu as you walk in rather than desperately searching for that girl or boy who won your heart in Justice. Second, you could just skim the offerings before you get in line. Third, you could read the menu in The Crimson and catch the movie listings at the same time.

As any Ec 10 student will tell you, we live in a world of scarce resources. Sadly, there is only so much Cracklin' Oat Bran and only so many grilled cheese sandwiches. You should think twice before spooning out more Cracklin' Oat Bran than you can handle. If you do ever find yourself with extra on your hands, please hunt me down. Pay attention to the menu as well. Don't pick up the shrimp scampi with shell pasta only to change your mind when you see the golden Kung pao chicken. The conveyor belt should not look like a haphazard buffet.

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