FM Attempts Prank To Acheive Own 15 Minutes of Fame, Fails Miserably

It began innocently enough. Just two Crimson executives pretending to take photos of themselves, but really taking photos of the Lamont Library’s bookbag checker with an extremely powerful telephoto lens. The idea was to fill a bookbag to the brim with photos of the person who inspects bags at Lamont. Upon searching for stolen books, said inspector would find only unauthorized self-portraits, dozens and dozens of them. This of course, would blow his freakin’ mind! And FM’s merry pranksters would be laughing all the way to the comedy bank.

But nothing went according to plan. On two consecutive tries, the second upping the stakes, the card-checker didn’t bat an eye. More accurately, he never noticed a thing. On the first attempt, FM checked out one book and put a photo of the card-checker in the book, to be pulled out conspicuously upon inspection. Here’s what transpired:

FM: Opens backpack full of photos with one book on top.

Card-checker: Takes book, looks for stamped date.

FM: Shouts “Oops!” and visibly removes photo, waves in card-checker’s face saying, “I need that back, sorry!”

Card-checker: Attitude is non-plussed, non-responsive. Hands back book.

FM: Takes book, exits library.

On the second try, FM checked out five books and put a photo of the card checker in the back in each of them, where each needs its stamp checked. FM also crumpled some of the photos, so that they would seem to “pop out” of the bag. Here’s what happened:

FM: Opens backpack, photos spill out.

Card-checker: Audibly sighs, begins opening first book.

FM: Physically takes and places one photo on desk, facing card-checker.

Card-checker: Ignores FM, continues checking books 2, 3, 4, 5. Says nothing. Goes through at least 12 photos of himself with no response.

FM: Audibly sighs, takes books, leaves.

Finally, FM sent Dunster resident and Lamont library veteran employee David C. Rennard ’03 to investigate. He brought a photo to the card-checker and asked him if he noticed any photos of himself in a recent bookbag. Card-checker: “No. Hey, look at that! I know that guy—It’s me.”