15 Rejected Headlines.

1. Recruiting Guide: It’s Not Selling Out If You Really Love Money

2. FM’s Fifteen Hottest Freshmen: FM’s Two Hottest Freshmen, Along With 13 Half-Polynesian Transgendered Zoroastrian Communists

3. The Spee club closes: Now You Spee It. Now You’re Blazed, and...Dude, Wanna Watch TiVo?

4. Following freshmen on a Saturday night: Dear Dean Nathans, The Following Students Were Drinking Underage Last Weekend, Punish Them

5. Photos of the Porcellian: The Rich Get Richer and the Porc Gets...oh wait, no it doesn’t

6. Larry Flynt interview: He’s a Hustler, Baby, Just Don’t Mind the Wheelchair

7. Interview with the author of “The Sexual Politics of Meat:” High Steaks: The Sexual Politics of Meat (and Potatoes)

8. President Summers’ relationship with English professor Elisa New: I Think It’s Fly When Elisa Stops By For The Summers

9. FM’s Interesting Seniors: Our Friends and Roommates

10. Duke students’ video remix of the remix to Ignition: Sure to Become Your Second Favorite R.Kelly Video on the Net

11. Paul C. Schultz’s conversion to Catholicism: Are You There God? It’s Me, Paul C. Schultz.

12. Students who go to the MAC at 6 a.m.: MAC ATTACK: Outta My Way, Bitch!

13. Harvard Wrap Social Club: Can’t Leave the Wrap Alone...Haters Want Me Clapped And Tinfoiled

14. Chickwich Challenge: Le Challenge des Chickwichs

15. Wellesley Dyke Ball: All’s Wellesley That Eats Wellesley