Fifteen Minutes' Minutes

Time necessary for Keith Sanderson, a machine operator at Macy Panel Products of Newcastle upon Tyne, England, to stop bleeding
By The CRIMSON Staff

Time necessary for Keith Sanderson, a machine operator at Macy Panel Products of Newcastle upon Tyne, England, to stop bleeding after accidentally chopping off the tip of his thumb in a recent industrial accident:

90 Minutes

Time after the accident that Sanderson accidentally cut off his entire index finger while demonstrating to his bosses how exactly he had cut off the tip of his thumb:

120 Minutes

Time that the logo of CIHost.com will remain tattooed on the back of James Nelson’s head after the Kansas resident auctioned off the space for $7,000 on eBay:

2,628,000 Minutes

Time it will take to remove the tattoo in a $4,000 laser surgery:

360 Minutes

Amount of time that young volunteers in London were asked to wear a company’s logo semi-permanently imprinted on their foreheads while conducting their daily errands in exchange for $20:

180 Minutes

Length of free dog-walking services offered to dog owners in London in exchange for allowing their dogs to be draped in corporate-brand flags during the walk:

60 Minutes

Time it took doctors at the Nil Ratan Sircar Medical College in Calcutta, India to perform what they claimed to be the first ever penis transplant last week:

205 Minutes

Amount of time that the transplant recipient, a baby boy born sans genitalia, lived without his manhood:

4,320 Minutes

Amount of time the transplant donor, also a newborn, lived with two penises:

600 Minutes

Time since Elena Kagan was announced as the new Dean of Harvard Law School and its first ever female leader:

10,080 Minutes

Time, on average, after scanning Kagan’s picture on the cover of The Crimson that it took to realize that Larry Summers had not in fact appointed his long-lost twin sister to fill the post:

5 Minutes

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