15 BEST THINGS ABOUT OKTOBERFEST

For some, October means the changing colors of falling leaves on the trees of the Yard. But for Harvardians without the willpower to do a problem set on a Sunday, October means something quite different: Oktoberfest! FM lists its fifteen favorite things about the undercelebrated holiday.

1. Convenience. Oktoberfest fun takes care of pre-gaming for the night.

2. The celebration in the Square concentrates tourists into one place, so they can trip over each other for a change.

3. One can jaywalk across JFK without getting hit by a Masshole driver.

4. Beer.

5. One can jaywalk across JFK while wasted, and still not get hit.

6. Beer goggles aren’t as cloudy in the daylight.

7. Peeing on John Harvard. During the day. In front of/in splatter range of tourists.

8. More beer, followed by unnecessary screaming and hooting.

9. It’s not technically a walk of shame if it’s still light out.

10. The myriad foreign cuisines to pair with beer: wiener schnitzel, sauerkraut, or for those adventurous festival-goers out there, spicy Thai noodles and Indian curry.

11. It doesn’t require a party grant.

12. It’s cheaper than studying abroad and doesn’t require the Office of International Programs, transferring credits, or flying for 18 hours straight.

13. Oktoberfest beads—any festival where cheap necklaces are passed out is generally something to enjoy.

14. Freshman males need not fear bouncers or intimidating door-guards to get into Oktoberfest.

15. Waking up covered in face paint, smelling of fried dough and not being ashamed for a second (and, not remembering a second of it).