POPSCREEN: Britney Spears

At this point, there’s very little that can be said about the life and work of Britney Spears other than that the girl doesn’t know when to give up. Hot on the heels of her half-assed, half-clothed Video Music Awards performance, the recently-dubbed “Unfitney” has given us an epic, four-minute display of how the pop music industry systematically ravages and eats its young. And people wonder why she’s taking parenting classes.

Nothing in “Gimme More” seems either necessary or desirable. The footage looks less like a final cut than something K-Fed chopped up in iMovie while the kids were asleep in the car. Britney’s characterization as a slumping, sloth-like pole dancer seems eerily prophetic. While above-the-waist framing and strobe lighting keep Britney from looking too haggard, it’s undeniable that the she’s looked better. Historically, a certain amount of Britney’s appeal rested on the sheer hilarity of her continued existence, but this video is proof of how far she’s fallen. Wallowing in mediocrity, “Gimme More” isn’t even bad enough to be good.

Britney clearly couldn’t care less about this state of affairs, though, which makes you wonder: What keeps her going? Is the video a joke? A cry for help? The most brilliant satirization of our own pop culture yet to date? In raising so many (irrelevant) questions, “Gimme More” is aptly titled. One thing the video decidedly doesn’t offer is any suggestion of a farewell. It’s a shame, but even worse, it’s boring. She was our queen. We watched her crash and burn. Now let’s walk away from the wreckage and move on.

—Nayeli E. Rodriguez