Alexander B. Fabry

Just jump, Georgy Bailey: this isn’t “A Wonderful Life.” Here are five great holiday stories in unexpected places.

1. Die Hard—Bruce Willis, in his first major action flick role, plays tough NYC cop John McLean coming to meet his family for the Holidays. A German terrorist/robber gets in the way. Choice lines: “I’ve got a machine gun now. Ho, Ho, Ho,” written on a sweatshirt in blood, and “Yippee kai- yay motherfucker.” Also has a cheery moralistic ending full of holiday cheer: Willis’ ally on the LAPD finally gets over his fear of guns (he once shot an unarmed 13-year-old boy) and shoots a bad guy. Brings tears to my eyes every time.

2. Die Harder—Set on Christmas Eve, like the first “Die Hard.” Funny how the holidays are always so stressful for Bruce.

3. Lethal Weapon—Mel Gibson rocks the mullet, and his partner Danny Glover decides not to commit suicide in the end. I’m all for not killing yourself over the holidays: instead, deflect that anger outward by watching extremely violent movies like this one.

4. Batman Returns—Michelle Pfeiffer makes a much better Catwoman than Halle Berry.

5. Reindeer Games—This is actually a terrible movie, but Ben Affleck robs a casino dressed in a Santa outfit.

Bonus: Ghostbusters II—Not really an action movie, but superb nonetheless. Pink slime threatens to destroy New York on New Year’s Eve and a crowd singing “Auld Lang Syne” stops a portrait-come-to-life from sacrificing a baby.

--Alexander B. Fabry ’09 is the outgoing Features editor. He’s looking forward to an action movie marathon very soon.