Joshua J. Kearney

5. NaS says so, and if you don’t agree, NaS will eat you alive. No, seriously. He’s crazy.



4. You­—If Mims can sell a mill (digitally, anyway) saying nothing on the track, I’ve got to point the finger your way, because I know I didn’t buy that shit. On the bright side though, you’ve still got your health. Am I right?



3. 50 Cent—He made a name for himself by being one of the hardest men in the game, not to mention alive. Now all he wants to do is buy us candy and take us to amusement parks. Let’s all just hope he really retires like he plans to do, and brings the rest of G-Unit with him.



2. Soulja Boy—After crankin’ that Soulja Boy at least twice at every party we’ve ever been to or even walked by this year, we’re all tired...so tired. Can we just listen to some slow jams or something? And now there’s a Soulja Girl song. Where will it end?



1. Pimp C—Why, God? Why? We had to listen to everybody say “Free Pimp C” for years, then he makes one music video, cuts one album, and dies. Where’s the justice in that? At least he could have showed some consideration for Bun B and made some real money before mysteriously dying in bed.



There it is, folks. Tip your 40s for one more year gone, and for the death of both hip-hop and one of its most ridiculous characters. Pimp C is free for good this time, and if you’re still asking why hip-hop is dead, NaS has the answer: “There’s a pretty good chance your lame ass, corny ass is the reason it died, man.”

—Joshua J. Kearney is the incoming Music Editor. He showers in crunk juice like every day.