March Madness

1. Snow

The climate change deities may not have gotten the memo, but the first day of spring was technically March 20; so honestly, the whole arctic- tundra-thing has been wildly inappropriate and unappreciated. Please get your shit together, Mother Nature.

2. Being Quadded and Then Having People Apologize To You For Your Being Quadded

Excuse me, but have you insensitive souls ever heard the phrase, “adding insult to injury?” Because that is what you have done. If you feel that badly about my exile to the Quad there are better ways of showing it like, I don’t know, showering me with gifts of food and alcohol.

3. Spring Break Only Being a Week Long

It seems a little ridiculous that Harvard allocates over a month for winter break and only one for spring break. How are we supposed to visit Instagram-worthy sites, party with our friends at state schools, see our families, AND keep up with classwork in only a weeks time? Answer: We can’t. We need more time.

4. The Underwhelming Yardfest Reveal

Given the enormity of Harvard’s endowment, it may be assumed that the school can afford to put on a better spring concert than it currently does, especially in comparison to our fellow Ivies. Not to hate on Jessie J or anything, but it’s probably safe to say that everyone is at least a little bit jealous that UPenn got Kesha AND Kygo for this year’s Spring Fling. Come on, Harvard—do better.

5. Multiple Midterms

You say “midterms”, I say “cruel.” You say “multiple midterms,” I say “cruel and unusual.” So why do so many math, science, and econ classes have them? These anxiety-inducing exams were a common reason that many students watched sun rise from Lamont in March. Make it stop. FYI, they’re only really midterms if they occur once in the middle of the term. Every other Tuesday doesn’t count.

6. The Patriarchy

Throwback to that time last month when the Spee sent out controversial invitations to a “Playbear” party with a link to a YouTube video featuring scantily clad women. (Cue Kenan Thompson singing “What’s up with that?”) Dean Rakesh Khurana agreed that it was sleazy and objectifying, and it made many people very mad this March.

7. Relocating Freshman Formal

This year, Freshman Formal is being held at Harvard for the first time since at least 2007. Obviously, nothing says “swanky" more than the illustrious Science Center Plaza. I supposeeveryone will just have to pre-game a little harder. Shoutout to Harvard kids of years past for getting too sloppy for us to be invited back to any nice venues!

8. The Person You Hooked Up With in February Continuing To Ignore You

“Was it not good for them?” “Was it something I said?” “Do they even remember me?” So many questions, so few answers. Maybe because your former hook-up seems to be running away from you every time you see them in the dining hall. Oh well. Here’s to another month of awkwardly avoiding eye contact and contact in general!