Saudade

LISBON, Portugal—As it has done to so many people before me, the glinting, electric blue water entices me as foamy waves lap against the white steps. A long ship, Maersk perhaps, passes by, and the water becomes more persistent, approaching with a rakish intention, mesmerizing me. The ship leaves and the waves are soft again. But they have charmed many people, many explorers, many poets, many before me. I am not unique to them. Just another human. But, perhaps, they singled me out. I feel almost Pessoan, but how can I not in the beautiful, quaint city of Lisbon.

Fernando Pessoa, one of the greatest Portuguese poets, wrote, “The value of things is not the time they last, but the intensity with which they occur. That is why there are unforgettable moments and unique people.”

Sitting here on the white steps that overlook the water, I can’t help but feel some sort of Pessoan intensity overtake me. I will remember this moment.

Later, as I walk through the streets of Lisbon to go home, saxophone music resounds . A woman plays an accordion in front of a classy Japanese store. Snippets of Indian music and American pop tunes float through the air, as well. And I even hear Fado… traditional music of Portugal. Fado is a music genre that was placed on the UNESCO Intangible Cultural Heritage List. Fado music is generally associated with the Portuguese word “saudade” which is high on many lists of untranslatable words. I asked several Portuguese people to give, in their own words, a translation. Saudade is a sense of longing, but greater than that. It is not necessarily a sense of missing. It is a sense of wanting some-thing, some-when, some-what, or some-one. A woman described it to me as, “You become the feeling.” I can’t tell if I have fully understood the meaning, not in terms of words, but in terms of deep sentiment. But maybe two months from now, I’ll look back at my time in Portugal and I’ll think of the narrow streets, the delicious pastel de nata (egg tarts), the friendly men and women, the relaxed main square in Lisbon, the music of the streets, the midnight picnics, the beautiful waves, and I’ll get a sense of saudade for Portugal.