Incantations, Voodoo and Revelry: A History of Appeasing the River Gods

Earn a hand from the River Gods
Earn a hand from the River Gods

“We’ve been in touch with proctors to tell them to be aware of any shenanigans the night before housing day,” Dean of Freshman Thomas A. Dingman ’67 warned in a recent interview.

Shenanigans? Housing Day Eve? FlyBy was intrigued. From whence did this the ritualistic traditions of “River Run” stem? “The notion of appealing to the gods for special attention to their [freshmen’s] wishes has really surfaced in the last couple years,” said Dingman. But, of course, we wanted to know more. Who was the first Harvardian to supplicate himself before the river gods in hopes of avoiding the quad…and Dunster…and Mather…yes even Mather though this is sweet.

A little archival research and some phone calls and here you have it, the history of “River Run," after the jump:

In 1995, Harvard College Dean L. Fred Jewett '57 introduced full randomization of the housing process to avoid the increasingly non-diverse student groupings. Students could choose a maximum of 16 students to block with, but could no longer request to be in a particular house; in other words, fate was introduced to the housing process. William F. Abely ’99, Bill, now an attorney in Boston, and his blocking group would become the first to perform a sacrificial rite the night before housing day.

“I don’t know where the genesis for the idea came from but we ended up taking our plant from PBHA sale at the beginning of the year and brought it down to the Weeks foot bridge, doused it in Jack Daniels and lit it on fire and dumped it over the edge of the bridge and hoped for the river,” said Abely. An original incantation was read facing Leverett House. The blocking group ended up in a Leverett suite overlooking the river.

Abely passed the tradition down to his friend, Adam G. Kosberg ’00, currently a filmmaker in L.A.  Kosberg and his group, choosing Jim Beam instead of Jack Daniels, introduced their own spin on the ritual. Using the same incantation and standing on Weeks Bridge, the group set aflame two voodoo dolls of blocking mates who had dropped out of the group last minute, as well as various remnants of old girlfriends. Kosberg and group were placed in Leverett as well. Fate? We don’t think so.

After Kosberg the history of River Run becomes fuzzy. Kosberg said he passed down the ritual to a fellow student in HRTV. But in 2001 the tradition seemed to disappear for a year, to resurface in recent years with minor additions and metamorphose. However, in 1997 the Crimson published an article publishing Kosberg’s exploits, so in our small way, Flyby and The Crimson would like to think that we have contributed to the posterity of this most excellent tradition.

What should you do tonight?  All FlyBy can tell you is that the River Gods are a fickle bunch.  Perhaps you show the proper contrition, and give sacrifices worthy of their praise, you may avoid a most terrible fate. But please, don't get too carried away.

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