Around the Ivies
Asian Studies: Hot Major (Dartmouth)
Seems like the mastermind of our bailout from the Depression 2.0 would have majored in Economics. But Tim Geithner actually majored in the same subject as Kirsten Gillibrand while at Dartmouth: Asian Studies.
In case the American economy does fall apart, we can rest assured that Geithner will be able to communicate with our new Chinese lords in Mandarin. In any case, he looked kind of nerdy while at Dartmouth, compared to now at the confirmation hearings, where he looked kind of in charge. Check after the jump for some sex and relationship advice, courtesy of Cornell.
Awkward Relationship Advice (Cornell)
We thought that the best part of the Cornell Daily Sun was its weekly self-written weekly horoscopes, but we were wrong. They also offer valuable relationship advice to girls who want more out of that random hook-up.
I made out with a boy last weekend. We had a really great time — I even slept over at his house (not in the biblical sense), but he never asked for my number. I felt like we really hit it off, so I am completely confused as to why he would not call. Should I try to contact him?
The solution from Z? Watch a chick flick. That will wipe the emotional scars away.
More Awkard Relationship Advice (Princeton)
The Daily Princetonian still has their "Sexpert" to go into unnecessary details, but that isn't enough. They also have an "Awkspert" to offer his/her "impressive resume of ungraceful personal experiences to the nation’s service and the service of all nations."
The Awkspert is not innocent as he/she sounds, though. When one Princeton student asks how he should woo someone who's good friends with his ex, the Awkspert declares, "This is an easy one. All you need to do is put an end to their friendship."
The Awkspert then goes into great detail about how to ruin their friendship--just so that the guy doesn't have to feel awkward while he's flirting with his new target. Harvard's dating scene is effectively nonexistent, but at least it's not Machiavellian.
President Holds Fireside Chat (Columbia)
Lee Bollinger, who was a candidate for Harvard's presidency while serving in the top spot at the University of Michigan, is now channeling FDR and holding Fireside Chats as Columbia's president. Very presidential, this man.
Teaching Fellows, Unite! (Yale)
While Harvard workers are rallying outside of Mass. Hall, guess who's rallying to unionize at Yale? Grad students. Long oppressed by a dismal job market, Yale's Graduate Employees and Students Organization is campaigning for the eighth year in the row for the university to recognize them as a union. They are no fringe group either: over half of Yale's grad students are in it.
Let's imagine for a moment what the rallying cry of an English Ph.D student might be: "Farewell! thou art too dear for my possessing...For how do I hold thee but by thy granting?"