We at FlyBy try to avoid the overtly navel-gazey as often as possible, but this week something came up that was just too good not to tell you about.

For The Crimson's joint Arts and FM issue on fiction this week, a number of writers on campus submitted their work for publication. While all published submissions were high quality, one in particular stood out not only for its incredible narrative, but for its sheer lasciviousness.

Kathleen E. Hale '09 takes the cake with "Finagled," a racy tale of a woman struggling with her sexuality in a male-dominated world of mediocrity. Read past the jump for some excerpts, but be warned: you may want to put the kids to bed for this one. It gets a little explicit.

Here are some of the highlights from "Finagled":

So we tried some things. Rape scenarios didn’t work for him, and I didn’t like them because he always forgot to hold my hands down. We tried a little girl-older man thing, and we both sort of liked that but felt bad for liking it. The only thing that really worked was this doctor-nurse behavior. I called him Dr. Cock, up it went, and we’d have a few minutes to work. I always had to lie perfectly still (changing positions turned him flaccid all over again) and whisper, Dr. Cock, Dr. Cock, ooooh, your cock, until he came.

Poor girl. FlyBy knows just how you feel. No, wait. Maybe not so much.

I lean back against the wallpaper and raise my hands above my shoulders. “I don’t know,” I start to say, but then Lee-Lee barges toward me and pulls at my mesh top, gathering it up into her fist. She wraps her hands around my ribcage, tugs her nails in, and my forehead starts to buzz like I know she’s going to kiss me.

We'll give you one more little snippet, the rest is up to you to read (or listen to...trust us you wanna do this) on your own.

“You have to really try,” she said, and so I tried to touch her while she distracted me with all her touching. We grappled like that until finally I pinned her down by her wrists. She pressed her head back into the mattress and smiled at me, then spat at my face. I laughed, asked if she was serious, and then she called me a bitch and so I slapped her.

“Okay,” she sighed. “Now you can begin.”

These are some of the less graphic/explicit passages in the story. Let's just say things get wilder when sex swings and an apparatus like the one above make their appearance.

Now, FlyBy knows smut when it sees it, and this is certainly a lot more than just smut, but you'll have to find that out for yourself. If you need any further encouragement, Hale is widely considered one of the best fiction authors on campus, and has recently won the Louis Begley Prize for fiction and the Advocate's Contest Issue. While you're at it, you might as well check out some other choice submissions. Happy reading!

Photo: Wikimedia/lewisha1990