A Crush, a Confession, or a Compliment? Your Guide to Harvard Facebook Pages
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UPDATED: April 5, 2013, at 8:35 p.m.
So this one time Harvard FML and I Saw You Harvard got jiggy, and now it's time to meet their mewling, puking offspring: the anonymous Facebook pages Harvard Crushes, Harvard Confessions, and, of course, Crimson Compliments.
About: Communicating via secret texts and Facebook messages alone, a mysterious coed gang of at least one Harvard and one Northeastern student created a Facebook page that describes itself as: "#E!&MissedconnectionsOnSteroidalDearDiary." This is Harvard Crushes.
Age: infancy (one week)
Popularity: > 650 Facebook likes
Siblings: Northeastern, Stanford, University of Virginia
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Milestone:
To a student: "You have the eyes of an angel and the kneecaps of a goddess."
The Verdict: Is it objectification, borderline stalking, friendly shout-outs, or the Harvard dating scene? You decide.
About: Its most popular city is Hubli, Karnataka, India. Its posts come from students at other colleges, Harvard hopefuls (and not so hopefuls), and people living in California and Colombia. Harvard Confessions, do you even go here?
Age: terrible twos (months, that is)
Popularity: > 1500 Facebook likes
Siblings: University of Phoenix, UW-Madison, Cornell
Milestones:
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"I slept with my Archeology Professor."
"I've cheated on every test, and I'm about to graduate with a 3.7 because I can pay my asian friend $300 a month to do my work for me. I know quite a few people doing the same exact thing. Next time I see a major discovery made by a Harvard graduate, I'll think, 'Man, what Asian did HE cheat off of??'"
"i dont go to harvard but this is the most boring and pitiful excuse for a confessions page i have ever seen. harvard must suck."
The Verdict: A few gems amid the racism, boring stories, and lack of participation from actual Harvard students.
About: We profiled Crimson Compliments in its youth, and by now the Facebook page has become an official Harvard institution. Stop by to fill your day with sunbursts, rainbows and emoji.
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Age: your grandmother (about a year)
Popularity: > 2300 Facebook friends (more popular than most Harvard students?)
Siblings: USC, Alabama State University, Yale
Milestones:
One student "is like a fluffernutter cupcake."
"To the smooth, light yellow apples in annenberg tonight - you are pure and virginal."
The confidence of one student "is so impressive, he could walk right into Mordor and everyone would be like 'Yep, that makes sense.' Also, his voice is ungodly attractive."
Verdict: Heck…maybe we should all just be on Harvard Crushes.