Dark outside already?
Happy Friday everyone! The week is finally over, but it’s not just any weekend—it’s Freshman Parents Weekend (cue the impending shrieks from parents upon seeing that their children’s under-bed storage has become a living dust sculpture exhibition)! Here are some lies freshmen will probably tell their parents this weekend:

“Yep, don’t worry! I eat balanced meals every day!”
Truth: If by balanced you mean skipping dinner because it’s mysterious meat in an even more mysterious sauce and then consuming 50 million grams of sugar on the cereal at Brain Break (s/o to Cinnamon Toasters, Apple Zings, and Honey Graham Squares– keep on rocking), then yes.

“I love the MAC! I have free access to a great quality gym so I can stay fit and healthy!”
Truth: Sorry, Mom. Those $100 Lululemon yoga pants I just ordered online using your credit card are never actually going to hit the gym. They’re more for show, like for when I want to appear sporty chic and make people think I work out.

“Yeah, it’d be great if you could put more money into my savings account because I spent all my money on textbooks.”
Truth: Why buy textbooks when you can find questionable PDF versions of them online and spend that money instead on Chipotle?

htod 7
Tomorrow will be 50 degrees with a 10 percent chance of rain, so you have a slightly better chance of staying dry, but about the same chance of being warm. 50/50 isn’t so bad, right?

Philly Cheese Steak Sub
Shrimp Fried Rice
Farfalle Pasta with Cannelini and Basil Pesto

Baked Salmon with Dill
Za’atar Roasted Chicken
Moroccan Chicken and Pumpkin Tagine

1. The Boss Loves the Boss: A look into FAS Dean Smith’s musical preferences

2. HUPD Police Log: 10/13-11/02: As part of our Securitas Series, we've combed through recent HUPD logs and published some of the more colorful entries.

1. UC Plans to Introduce New Grant, Unofficially Ending 250k Campaign: The Undergraduate Council will receive no funding directly from the University this year, but top Council leaders say the College is considering picking up the tab for about $36,000 the Council currently earmarks for Drug & Alcohol Peer Advisors and Phillips Brooks House Association, freeing up a sizable portion of the UC budget.

2. Princeton Found in Violation of Title IX: The Office for Civil Rights determined that Princeton had not adequately responded to some sexual assault complaints and that the university “allowed for the continuation of a sexually hostile environment” for one student complainant.  

3. More Remnants of Indian College in Yard Emerge: Students in an undergraduate anthropology class presented their findings on Thursday after they spent the fall term excavating the remains of the Harvard Indian College, a 17th century school for American Indians that was affiliated with a young Harvard University.

Chekhov's Three Sisters is opening tonight at 8 p.m. at the Loeb Mainstage! It will also be on at 8 on Saturday and Sunday, as well as next weekend too. Tickets are $8 for students at the Box Office.

Looking to watch a free movie tonight? The College Events Board presents Guardians of the Galaxy tonight at 9 p.m. in Science Center B.

Harvard Football is going against Columbia on Saturday at 1 p.m. in the stadium. There will also be an autograph session after the game with select Harvard players!

Harvard Glee Club Lite, Collegium Musicum's Underground, and Radcliffe Choral Society's Cliffenotes are putting on an acapella jam Saturday night at 7 p.m. in Paine Hall. Tickets are $5 for students and $8 for the public!

If you're in the mood for some jazz, the Harvard Jazz Bands are performing compositions of Miles Davis featuring renowned trumpeter Wallace Roney on Saturday at 8 p.m. in Lowell Lecture Hall! Tickets are $8 for students and seniors and $10 at full price.

TLA Improv is putting on a special show on Saturday at 8 p.m. in Fong Auditorium with special guest Dead Serious from Wellesley. Admission is free and the show will be based on audience suggestions!

The Harvard Undergraduate Students for Myanmar is hosting a photo exhibition opening and speaker panel on Sunday at 4 p.m. in the Adams Art Space. There will also be free Burmese food!

Street lamps on Mass. Ave. for cars in the early evening as the rain continues to fall on Thursday after daylight savings ended this past Sunday.