Jason Segal
Happy Monday! We’re currently wishing the weekend were one day longer so we could actually do (or maybe start) our homework, because we all know that the Monday morning routine before class is probably one of the worst parts of the week. Here’s a rundown of how your morning will probably go before your 10 a.m. class:

9:15 a.m.: Wake up to the sound of your phone alarm going off, find your phone between that small sliver of space between your mattress and the wall, hurt your hand while trying to retrieve your phone in that space, retrieve your phone and snooze your alarm.

9:18 a.m.: Snooze your alarm.

9:21 a.m.: Snooze your alarm because you know you can take a shower and get ready in 20 minutes.

9:24 a.m.: Finally decide to wake up because you don’t want to annoy your sleeping roommate who doesn’t have morning classes today.

9:30 a.m.: Check your Facebook newsfeed and all the Snapchat stories that have accumulated overnight because you obviously need to keep in touch with all of your friends on social media.

9:35 a.m.: Decide that now is the last possible moment at which you can get in the shower without being late to lecture.

9:38 a.m.: Get to the bathroom and realize you’re too lazy to take a shower—brushing your teeth and washing your face will suffice.

9:45 a.m.: Decide for a solid 10 minutes what you want to wear to class, end up choosing something very similar to your pajamas.

9:55 a.m.: Stare at your bed wistfully as you walk out of your room and part with it for the whole day (so tragic).

9:57 a.m.: Walk to class and wonder how you’re going to do this for 4 more days.

IN THE ATMOSPHERE
It’s going to be a nice day with a high of 70 degrees! It’ll be sunny all day, and no one’s complaining because we all know that pretty soon it’s going to be extremely cold without any prior notice (we love you too, Mother Nature).

IN THE D-HALLS
Lunch:
Red Spiced Chicken Breast
Falafel Sandwich
Multigrain Rotini Primavera with Kidney Beans
Golden Nuggets (yay, carbs to make us feel better about Mondays!)

Dinner:
Breaded and Baked Pork Chops
Chicken Breast with Poblano Sauce
Pumpkin Gnocchi with Sage

ON FLYBY
1) 10 Observations From Hempfest: “3. “ENROLLING NOW!!!” There’s a school, Northeastern Institute of Cannabis, that can get you certified to work in the industry in “just TWO WEEKS.” Sounds about as long as econ. concentrators spend on their theses.”