The Yale Daily News, as ever, was a reliable source. The headline read: “Harvard moves against finals clubs, greek organizations.” Immediately, we were confused. What is a “finals club?” Is it different from a final club? Does it have to do with our exams? In fact, what exactly is a final club, anyway?
To our dismay, the Yale Daily News story answered none of our pressing questions. Beyond the erroneous reference to “finals clubs” (which was eventually corrected), the story does not make clear a number of key facts. What exactly is a final club? What are their membership policies? Can women join final clubs? Why does Dean Khurana think they are exclusive? How are final clubs different from “Greek organizations” (by that we assume you mean fraternities and sororities? And not the Harvard Classics Club?)
Instead of answers, we, the curious readers, were treated to a healthy, if not clarifying, dosage of verbiage and vageuties. Apparently, final clubs are “organizations.” Thank you, YDN.
Just when we thought we had reached the nadir of our confusion, the YDN hit us (or, rather, Dean Khurana) with the most passive-aggressive sentence we’ve seen since the last community update on mumps.
“Rather than sanction all Greek organizations or senior societies, Yale has attempted to expand their inclusivity and oversight,” the author writes.
The moral of the story here, dear reader, is that if you ever find yourself in need of information about what is happening on Harvard’s campus, turn to The Crimson, not outside media sources. They may not get it quite right. And YDN, in the immortal words of The Social Network’s Mark Zuckerberg: “Final clubs… not finals clubs.”