Housing Day is quite literally just around the corner, and every Harvard student is gearing up to either 1) do river run and pray the river gods bless them or 2) pee in the Quad and pray for the river, or 3) get lit on Thursday morning and deliver amazing (or tragic) news for the freshmen. There are many ways to do Housing Day correctly, but there are also so many ways to do it poorly.

Housing Day Dancing Queens

Take heed all ye Harvardians, because if you mess up this day you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.

Don’t: Travel loudly with your 8-person blocking group and try to walk past the aggressive House security guards.

You will be stopped. Your ID will be checked. You will be sent away.

Do: Get pumped with your blocking group on Thursday morning.

Maybe even spend the night in the same place! Definitely attend your entryway’s Housing Day breakfast events as a group. Peer outside at the houses gathering and get excited.

Don’t: Wait in a room with multiple blocking groups.

You won’t know whether to cheer or cry until an upperclassmen physically hands the letter to someone in your blocking group.

Do: Be prepared to get any house.

If your heart is set on one house, there is an 11/12 chance you could be disappointed. Thank you for equipping me with the skills to do that math, Joe Blitzstein.

Don’t: Cry if you get Quadded.

Even though the Quad is a faraway, barren place, try to save the tears for after the excited upperclassmen storm your room. Imagine if you were in their shoes.

Do: Partake in Housing Day festivities.

After you get your housing assignment, go to the Berg! Get free things! And definitely attend your new House’s steins and evening events to start mingling with others in your new house.

Don’t: Get festive to the point where you can’t wake up for your spring break flight home or your Friday classes (if you’re an unlucky soul with 9 am lecture Friday)

This is a shoutout for all of the people in Chem27, PS11, Stat, or a language class on Friday. Try not to concern your professor or teaching fellow by stumbling in wearing Wednesday night’s PJs Friday morning.

Get ready for the best day of the year!