How to Be the Hostess with the Mostest this Harvard-Yale

The Yalies are descending upon us, much like we descended (albeit in much better style) upon them last year. If you’ve got a friend/general acquaintance/enemy at Yale, it’s likely they’re hitting you up seeing if they can crash with you for a few days of drunken incoherence. Here are some tips and tricks for surviving hosting a Yalie this weekend.

If you don’t hate ‘em, host ‘em

The great thing about hosting someone for Harvard-Yale is the next year, you can hit them up and ask to stay with them at Yale. This is some economic principle I think (you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours?), and honestly you’ll never be in your room anyway, so it’s not a huge lift on your part. And if you hate ‘em, you might want to host ‘em anyway, just so you don’t get stranded next year.

Spare Key

If you’re an upperclassman, you’ve got an extra key in the building manager’s office in case you get locked out. Check that key out and give it to your Yalie friend this weekend so they can get in and out of your room without you. But it’s like $50 if they lose it, so maybe make them Venmo you $50 first so they don’t disappear into the void that is New Haven and leave you to pick up the check.

Dhalls

Yalies are allowed into the dhalls this weekend, which is great — you don’t have to sneak them in. If you have a non-Yalie staying with you, this will also make it really easy to sneak them in. Tell them to look like a loser and the dhall staff will let them right in!

Blankets, sleeping bags, pillows, oh my!

Tell the Yalie to bring a sleeping bag if they have one. Hopefully you live in a suite or you have a couch or something for them to sleep on, because otherwise they will be sleeping on the floor wrapped in your extra blankets. Your drunk ass is definitely not going to want to share a twin XL bed.

Barf bucket

It’s really easy to get carried away drinking at Harvard-Yale, but the last thing you want is Yalie vomit all over your dorm room. Try to both keep an eye on them and set up a trash can with a trash bag in it, or something, just in case.

If you’re dreading the inconvenience of hosting a Yalie, just remember that you’ll (probably) be very drunk and it’s also just one weekend. Come Monday, you’ll be back to living the high life — away from the Connecticuter rabble.