For a long time, Fifteen Minutes Magazine’s biggest claim to fame was (and maybe still is?) a salacious annual feature called “Fifteen Hottest Freshmen.” Every year, FM’s staff would select a handful of smooth-skinned and strong-jawed Yardlings, photograph their smoldering faces around campus, interview them about their dream date nights. The chosen first-years would say things like, “Maybe some chicken and a little sex.” It wasn’t a great look for anyone involved.

In a nod to this part of FM’s more-recent-than-we’d-care-to-admit past, we’ve curated The Heat Issue. FMC fills up the ol’ Nalgene and is reborn as Hot Yoga Frank. EOS, who must be living on the goddamn Oregon Trail, recounts her recent bout of scarlet fever. DCP fires up the real-deal pork flavor in a Guy-Fieri-style eulogy for the beloved Classroom-to-Table program. In what must be the wettest story that FM has ever published, LWX goes for a run with Larry Bacow, the next president of Harvard, on a rainy Marathon Monday.

But it isn’t all funkalicious flavor and spandex shorts. AWDA brings us a reported essay on three Harvard alumni whose lives have been claimed by gun violence—and how their elite educations figure into our remembrance of them. Amid vape smoke and Red Vines puke, JED finds her way around the male gaze. And as it turns out, The Crimson declared itself an authority on Harvard’s hottest long before our magazine even existed: take a look back at the Crimson-sponsored “Miss Radcliffe” pageant of the 1950s, which celebrated sweet Southern drawls and “Old World charm” alike. Oof.

Until next semester,