This spring, Harvard will become home to its own sustainable garden in front of Lowell House, and the Office of Sustainability is calling upon the community to submit names in an online contest that closes today. Ever-conscious of its responsibility to the wider-Plympton area, FM presents some choice names.
1. Your New Breakfast
This garden is supposed to provide “food for students, faculty, and the local community.” We’re guessing breakfast is going to take another hit.
2. The Drunkards’ Buffet
You exit the Fly a little sloppy. The organic sheen of a sustainable tomato plant catches your eye. Free and low-caloric. Yum.
3. The Garden Next to the Phoenix
As in, “Oh...that garden.”
4. The Secret Garden
The name section guy in your English class would submit. We all know the literary reference doesn’t make any sense, but it’s just the kind of BS he loves.
5. The Admissions-Packet Pastoral Garden
Because we couldn’t have a picture of a quaint, student-run garden if we didn’t actually have one. “Hey, we’re sustainable and organic, damn it!”
6. The Garden of Sin
Furrows are so the new stacks. Bonus points if your pick-up line includes a Biblical allusion.
7. The Harvard Garden
When all else fails, just drop that H-Bomb. Never has so much been accomplished with a last resort.