Do You Wanna Pset and Chill?
Over the past couple of months, the internet has turned an ostensibly innocent request: “Do you want to watch Netflix and chill?” into an innuendo implying...well, more than binge-watching “Gilmore Girls” for six hours straight, that’s for sure.
This degradation of a simple invitation to hang out is surely a travesty. We at Flyby are big fans of actually watching Netflix (especially when we are procrastinating on our work) and would love to invite friends to join us without it being misconstrued as some sort of salacious solicitation.
Besides, the college hook-up scene is confusing enough already. If someone asks you to get dinner in the Square, is it a date or just a platonic meal? What impact does your DFMO from Friday night have on your relationship status? (None whatsoever, sorry.) Why won’t that cute guy from your section text you back? How do you know if she wants to date or just hook up?
As someone who has gone to a networking event and accidentally ended up on a date instead, (and as someone who has never been on a date), these are complicated questions that we still grapple with. The last thing we need is another one added to the list: Does he actually want to watch “Mad Men,” or does he have more Don Draper-esque things in mind?
In order to reverse this perverse trend, we at Flyby recommend that Harvard students instead proposition their peers with a simpler request: “Pset and Chill?”
For those shy Flyby readers unsure of how to pull off this move, do not despair. Here are some simple guidelines to the “Pset and Chill”:
Step 1: Take a class that assigns problem sets weekly. This is also a good opportunity to get that pesky SPU Gen Ed out of the way.
Step 2: Text your prospect. Avoid any emojis that could be taken as innuendo. We’re looking at you, eggplant.
Step 3: Meet up and work on your pset. Be sure to stick to the standards outlined by Harvard’s honor code.
Step 4: Turn in your pset on time and watch your GPA soar! Congrats, you have successfully pset and chilled. After all, Harvard kids can’t have fun unless they’re doing homework, right?
P.S. For those of you who are more humanities inclined, simply swap out “pset” for “deconstruct postmodern paradigms and chill” and you should be good.