If Harvard Professors Ran For President
Harvard Law School Professor Lawrence Lessig is running for the Democratic Party’s nomination in the 2016 United States presidential election. But why should Lessig be the only one at Harvard to experience all the fun of campaign season? Flyby wants to spread the love, so we’ve brainstormed potential campaign platforms and strategies that we are pitching to other Harvard professors. Who would you cast your vote for?
Robert A. Lue
In the spirit of stress reduction, all Americans will be able to file their taxes over the course of six short forms as opposed to the former long forms. Also don’t worry about the IRS coming after you. Everyone is entitled to one “oops” moment if a form is completed incorrectly (see: fraudulently) because everyone has an off day sometimes.
Michael J. Sandel
You could vote for Sandel, but should you? What will it say about your character, what you value in life, the type of person you aspire to be? Sandel’s platform will not be quite clear. He will not spend much time lecturing you about his platform or dreams for the country. In fact, he will let your peers do most of the talking. And do you really want the socially awkward science concentrator who is just trying to fulfill his Ethical Reasoning Gen Ed dictating the direction the country takes in the next four years?
You might as well vote for Malan, because everyone else is doing it. Plus, I hear he gives out free “This is My Campaign” t-shirts and USA swag at the end of his first term! Malan’s platform mainly centers on the elimination of the Common Core in favor of required CS50 for all. He also wants to get rid of the USA’s antiquated judicial system in favor of a “regret policy.” It is okay to commit a crime, as long as you come forward to Malan or one of his staff. Also, he will likely get really tough on the country after the first 100 days. Just warning you.
N. Gregory Mankiw
In the interest of simplifying the tax code, everyone will just pay their taxes directly to Greg Mankiw. The next President will inherit a White House complete with a custom “Ec 10” Air Force One, and a bed literally made out of money. And on the bright side for those of you who do not vote for Mankiw, it will not actually be him running the country most of the time. Instead, he’ll invite his VP and Cabinet members into the Oval Office to be “guest Presidents.”